


Wanderlust

by The_Bad_Side



Series: Wandering [3]
Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - No Nen, Grooming, M/M, Masochism, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sadomasochism, Size Difference, Somnophilia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:27:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 23,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27062659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Bad_Side/pseuds/The_Bad_Side
Summary: During their travels, Hisoka wasn’t surprised to learn that Gon is a precocious boy. Despite his wild nature, his town of adults clearly fawned over him, so Gon is very comfortable saying whatever is on his mind. Which means Hisoka has been receiving many questions. Surprisingly little of which has been about Hisoka’s level of experience in child abduction.**Reading the first part of this series is highly recommended**Big thanks to thatonepeach for betaing!
Relationships: Gon Freecs/Hisoka, Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck
Series: Wandering [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1915882
Comments: 109
Kudos: 287





	1. Chapter 1

The fluorescent light above buzzes feebly and flickers on the tile below. Bent at the waist, Hisoka thumbs through a rack of second-hand clothes. He yawns as his usually deft fingers stumble on the tangled coat hangers. Being behind the wheel for more hours than is advisable has left Hisoka sluggish. His skin is bare and his hair is loose and unbrushed, but there’s satisfaction in the ache of his hamstrings because they’re many miles from Whale Town. It’s only been two days, but that’s plenty of time for a sufficiently motivated man such as Hisoka. They’re only just beginning to push the limit for how long Gon says he’s been off exploring on his own before the good neighborhood rallied for him. Now they should have at least another day if not more for the people of Whale Town to be combing their forest and shoreline for Gon. 

The benefits of making off with a half-feral child. 

Normally, Hisoka would have stopped somewhere to perform by now, but he doesn’t want to waste any time. The farther they travel, the closer to freedom they get. Or rather, the farther Hisoka gets from being locked up.

Looking at the clothes Hisoka thinks that the size must not matter. Gon is a child and children aren’t  _ supposed  _ to look put together. Really, it doesn’t matter what he picks so long as Gon has more than the two articles of clothing he brought in his backpack. Especially with how early fall will soon turn into late fall. Hisoka just needs to grab anything that will cover Gon’s body and get back to his van where he’s left his boy. Windows cracked, of course.

Hisoka gathers up several articles in various colors and sizes. Some of the shirts have fading prints on them - sports teams, cartoons, animals, whatever. Hisoka doesn’t know anyone who cares what a child looks like aside from himself and he just likes the look of Gon sitting on the back bumper of the van eating a meal bar in the sun.

Next, he tries to pick out a few things for Gon to entertain himself with. But there aren’t many options in this thrift store aside from messy dolls and ratty board games. Hisoka ends up picking up a pack of jacks and he doesn’t even know if it’s a full set. Well, so far Gon has been very happy with playing with the radio, looking at the map, and sticking his head out the window into the wind. This is probably fine.

As a last thought, he grabs a pair of sunglasses for Gon. The little co-pilot can’t possibly continue to go without.

The past two days with Gon have been such a pleasure for Hisoka. The boy is truly wonderful company. Through Gon’s wide eyes the many charms of living out of a van that have become normal to Hisoka have been revived. Waking up with the morning sun streaming in through the sunroof they forgot to cover the night before, picking out local places to eat as they pass through, Gon drumming on the dashboard to the tune of the radio while Hisoka hums the melody - it’s all exciting and special again.

Right now, the goal is to get Gon to meet darling Killua, as Hisoka had promised. The Zoldyk Estate is, fortunately, in a remote location a little over halfway across the country.

Hisoka pays with the cash he has saved and returns to the driver’s seat of his Kombie. Rather than the passenger seat where he could be seen, Gon is sprawled out on his stomach over the futon, reading that comic book again. 

Gon perks up as soon as Hisoka gets in. He looks up with a smile only to be hit full in the face with the shopping bag of clothes. Gon flounders a bit looking  _ so cute _ . Despite how tired he is, Hisoka would love to crawl back there and straight into his kid’s clothes. Really, Hisoka’s spent as much time as possible  _ driving. _ Not exactly the dream scenario for him when he has a sweet thing like Gon all to himself…

But Hisoka has made a little time to indulge. Last night, deep, deep into the night when they were well over one-thousand kilometers from Whale Town. Poor little Gon was nodding off in the passenger seat and Hisoka needed to sleep too. He just needed something else first.

Hisoka pulled off the road where they weren’t likely to be bothered and ushered his little boy back into the futon where he could lay down to sleep. As soon as Gon had crawled his way back, he sprawled out face-down over the flat surface and slept deeply. 

Hisoka, even with his tired eyes, found ample reasons to be excited. Just the fact that there was no reason to resist his attraction to Gon was enough for him to crawl back onto the futon, pull his growing erection out, and openly jerk off over the little boy’s back. Hisoka gives himself credit for the fact that Gon slept peacefully the whole time, even when Hisoka was wiping the cum off him. Hisoka thought himself to be a good guardian at that moment as he curled around the boy for sleep that night. 

Gon, still unaware of how he got into the futon last night much less what happened there, is looking through the bag of clothes. He brightens as he finds the sunglasses and pulls out first to put them on. 

“Cool!” He grins at Hisoka. 

“Such a stud.” Hisoka drawls in return. 

Gon’s smile widens and he crawls forward to rest his chin on the center console by Hisoka’s thigh. 

“I wanna stay back here until the next stop!”

Hisoka smiles down at the little boy in the perfect place to pet. Well, almost perfect place, second to between Hisoka’s thighs. He’s sure Gon’s eyes are glittering behind those dark shades and how could he deny the adorable expression he imagines is there?

“Sounds like fun.” He says. 

As he is encouraging Gon to follow his whims, Hisoka gives in to his own desire to pet Gon’s hair and scratch lightly under his chin. 

Gon giggles at the feeling of Hisoka’s nails. He squirms a bit, making Hisoka wonder if his boy is ticklish, then waves off Hisoka’s hand. Hisoka isn’t quite done yet and has a new urge to stick his thumb into Gon’s giggling mouth and press down on his tongue. Gon, being an adept little flirt, bites down on Hisoka’s thumb hard enough for it to bruise. 

“How ruthless. I don’t have my rabies shot, tiger.” Hisoka hums, not even trying to free his finger from the crushing bite. Even this little bit of ferocity is a treat. It’s the little things that have been giving Hisoka the strength to persevere on this unexpected adventure. 

Gon lets go on his own and sticks his tongue out at Hisoka. 

“That’s what you get for sticking your finger in my mouth.” He says plainly. 

“Vengeance is usually worth it.” Hisoka agrees, combing his fingers through Gon’s curls. 

Gon accepts the petting before he drops backward onto the futon and bunches up the quilt to prop himself up. 

Hisoka chuckles then turns to start the ignition.

He opens up the sunroof since the weather is still pleasant and Gon is in the back with all of the bedding to curl up in. It’s quiet for about ten minutes of driving time before Gon speaks up again. 

“Have you ever meditated?” He asks. 

During their travels, Hisoka wasn’t surprised to learn that Gon is a precocious boy. Despite his wild nature, his town of adults clearly fawned over him, so Gon is very comfortable saying whatever is on his mind. Which means Hisoka has been receiving many questions. Surprisingly little of which has been about Hisoka’s level of experience in child abduction. 

“Mm, all the time,” Hisoka replies. 

“Really?!” Gon, for whatever reason, sounds surprised to hear that. “I’ve never seen you do it. What for? Isn’t it boring?”

“I suppose it is relaxing and improves my concentration.” Even now, Hisoka’s body is relaxed as he drives with one hand resting on the bottom of the wheel, and his elbow propped up on the door. “Mostly, I do it without meaning to. It’s only intentional on occasion.”

“How do you do it without meaning to?”

Hisoka hears shifting and glances back to see Gon wrapping himself in the quilt and shuffling in close to the center console again. 

“It’s something you get good at when you live like me, tiger.” Hisoka shifts to place his window-side hand on the wheel so he can drape his other arm down the center console towards Gon. “Long stretches of road at night, sitting in front of a campfire, waiting at a sticky table for someone to bring the breakfast I ordered…”

Gon takes Hisoka’s hand to run his fingers over the chipping, dark nail polish. “How can you do those things and meditate at the same time?”

Hisoka’s lips twitch in delight. “What do you think meditating is?”

“Well - it’s like,” Hisoka hears the shuffling of paper. “Sitting up straight, crossed legs, and eyes closed.”

Hisoka hums. So that’s it. Gon is asking because of something he’s been reading in that comic. 

“Meditation can be like that, but it is more about your state of mind. You have to be quiet inside.”

Hisoka hears a small gasp from Gon. 

“So it  _ is _ like fishing!”

“Perhaps. What do you think of when you fish?” Hisoka feels Gon turn his hand over to examine his palm. He shudders to think of what nearly invisible secrets Gon might be uncovering in it with his dark eyes.

“Ah, it’s hard to say. Not too much, I guess? Sometimes I’ll think a bit about the behavior of the fish or my family.”

Hisoka wiggles his fingers playfully under Gon’s tangible gaze.

“Sounds pretty quiet to me. I think you have great concentration, little tiger.”

Gon’s middle finger and thumb slide up the length of Hisoka’s slightly crooked pointer finger - an old break from Illumi. Gon doesn’t reply for a while. Hisoka desperately wants to know what the boy is seeing in his hand. What could he be thinking of? Or does he think at all?

Hisoka doesn’t ask. He doesn’t want to disrupt the ecosystem inside the boy. It's an ominous jungle that Hisoka has only gotten glimpses of. While he would love to go on a safari, Hisoka won’t dare until he’s sure he won’t tamper down the dangerous nature inside.

The silence stretches on with the road and Hisoka’s arm aches from the position as his little boy continues to hold his hand. Despite the discomfort, Hisoka’s own mind quiets into that meditative state. He thinks that Gon could be meditating with him.

They sit like that together for a while until Gon finally gives up possession of Hisoka’s hand after about forty minutes in favor of laying on his back in the futon and staring through the sunroof. 

They drive for two hours before Hisoka has to stop for gas. It is a fairly remote truck stop so Hisoka lets Gon clamber forward to burst from the passenger door. As often as possible, Hisoka has been having Gon piss on the side of the road and bringing him food. But because of the distance and isolation, he doesn’t mind handing the bouncing child some cash for a snack and letting him use the restroom here. 

Gon runs off into the truck stop, completely unsupervised, while Hisoka stretches and gets gas. Two pumps behind Hisoka someone’s blasting their radio. He glances into the convenience store Gon is running towards and sees a group of men congregating around the magazine rack. Well, it’s none of his business. 

* * *

When Gon was holding Hisoka’s hand he thought to himself, Hisoka may be so resilient  _ because _ he’s so good at meditating. Gon thought that he would like to be better at meditating as well. 

Truthfully, Gon hasn’t enjoyed being cooped up in the van for two days, but he understands why. It was Gon who decided to tag along, and Hisoka has barely slept and hasn’t been doing any magic. He’s tried his best to stay up with Hisoka and keep him company but after a certain point, he just can’t… 

Hisoka has been working so hard to accommodate Gon’s decision, so Gon can’t complain about being cooped up for now. Gon must be resilient and stay positive. Besides, it hasn’t been all bad, Gon has still gotten to do and see so many new things. Despite the difficulties for the both of them, he’s glad he snuck into Hisoka’s van. 

The gas station smells of asphalt, gas, and cigarettes. It’s nothing like the ocean air of Whale Town and Gon relishes in the short sprint he gets from Hisoka’s van to the small building. 

Gon throws himself into the store, past a group of three men, and straight to the cash register. The cashier is leaning on the counter reading a colorful magazine and the page he’s looking at has a lady in her underwear on it. 

“Excuse me, could I use your bathroom?” He asks the cashier, who jerks his thumb to the right. 

“Thanks!” 

It’s a short trot to the bathroom. The worst smelling-room Gon has ever been in. He pulls the collar of his shirt up over his nose to go about his business and washes his hands more thoroughly than he ever has in his whole life. 

When Gon comes out of the bathroom, intent on getting a snack, he hears boisterous laughter coming from the group of men. Curious as to what is so funny, Gon goes over to peer between their heavy shoulders. 

“Y’know lots of broads like it like that though,” the man on the right with patchy facial hair jeers, jamming a thick finger to the glossy pages of a magazine at a picture of a naked lady tied up in an odd way. 

“Yeah, need me a freak like that!” The man with wide arms directly in front of Gon laughs. 

Gon frowns. He doesn’t get what’s so funny but he doesn’t like the way they’re talking. 

“Hey!” Gon pipes up, fists tightened. “All women are ladies!”

The man in front of Gon jumps, whirling around to face Gon. “Oh shit, it’s a kid!”

The skinny man across from him who’s holding the magazine open wavers, as though he’s unsure if he should close it, and looks around at his companions for direction. 

Now that he has their attention, Gon steps forward to give them all a piece of his mind. 

“My aunt says that all women and girls are ladies. You shouldn’t call them bad names.”

The men are silent for a moment, exchanging looks, and then they erupt into laughter. 

“What do you know about women?” 

“Yeah, move along kid, the grownups are talking. This is no place for you to be stickin’ your nose in.”

“You don’t sound like grownups to me. You sound like my classmates from gym.” Gon sticks his tongue out at them. 

Maybe these men are using different words but the way they talk is the same as the boys in Gon’s school who none of the girls like. 

The man right in front of Gon grabs the magazine from the guy behind him and shoves it right in Gon’s face. A naked lady, tied up in a different and more uncomfortable looking position,  _ and _ she has a man’s penis in her mouth. Gon knows from Hisoka that it’s part of the  _ “vast array of experiences”  _ that people can be sexual, although he hasn’t done that with Hisoka yet. Fresh out of the yucky bathroom, doing sex that way seems extra gross. Gon wrinkles his nose which still stings from the memory of the smell. 

“Look, kid, does  _ this _ look like a lady to you?”

Gon’s brows furrow and he looks all the way up into the man’s eyes. Now he’s even madder that they’re trying to get Gon to be mean too. No way is Gon going to change his mind now, no matter what pictures they show him.

“Yes, she does! She has pretty hair and she looks nice  _ and _ I bet she’s way tougher than you!” Gon points up at the man for emphasis. 

The man looks mad and now his friends around him are all laughing harder, clapping him on the back and bumping his shoulders. 

“Damn, the kid really got you!”

The guy on the right leans in close to Gon. “So, you must be quite popular with the ladies, kid. Got any pointers?” He asks with a grin, rubbing his chin and the scratchy sounding stubble there. 

Gon nods, perking up. He’d much rather these men learned the right way to talk to ladies. 

“Yeah! You gotta be nice to them first! And listen and then when they go on dates with you, you surprise them with stuff you think they like based on what they said!”

“Oh? Like what?” 

“Like, if she wears skirts with flowers she might like them so take her on a picnic when the flowers are in bloom. Or if she’s shy then a place with activities so there won’t be so much of a burden to think of things to say. Or-!”

“Okay, okay, you’re good.” The man says, waving his hands to cut Gon off. “Damn kid, leave some pussy for the rest of us.”

Gon frowns. He doesn’t really know what that means but he figures he must be talking about girls. 

“No way! Try harder and get it yourself!” With that, Gon marches off into the parking lot where he sees only Hisoka’s head. He seems to be leaning against his van, waiting. He looks over as Gon approaches with that skinny smile of his. 

Gon rounds the van to the side Hisoka is on, hidden from the store. 

“No snacks?” 

Gon smacks himself in the forehead. “Aw crap! I totally forgot.”

Hisoka looks back into the shop, directly at the group of men who Gon got held up on. Then he turns back to look down at Gon. 

“What did they do?” Hisoka asks, squatting to Gon’s height. He looks amused by Gon’s clear annoyance. 

“They were looking at this magazine of naked ladies and saying rude things.” Gon huffs, crossing his arms. 

“They showed you?” Hisoka brings his fingers up to drum over his curled smile. 

Gon nods. “Yeah. The ladies were tied up and stuff.”

“Ah…” Hisoka nods and straightens up to his full height to lean against the car door again. He reaches out to weave his fingers through Gon’s hair and brings him closer. Gon steps forward as he’s pulled until his chin is resting on Hisoka’s stomach as he looks straight up at him. “How did that make you feel?” 

“Mad! It’s wrong to be rude to ladies!” 

Hisoka chuckles and uses his other hand to rub Gon’s cheek.

“What’s so funny?” Gon demands. Hisoka better not think it’s funny to pick on girls too!

“I was marveling at how handsome and brave you are, tiger.” Hisoka purrs. “Especially for your age.”

Gon’s jaw clenches and his face feels a little warm. Hisoka compliments him a lot but it’s different when it’s a compliment about something Gon cares about. 

Hisoka glances back over his shoulder. The van hides them almost entirely. He looks down at Gon again and Gon feels Hisoka’s crotch stiffening against his collarbone for some reason. 

Before Gon can ask what is it  _ this time _ , he’s being tossed back into the van with a yelp. 

“Hey! Don’t make me scream!” Gon recovers, pushing himself upright in the passenger seat properly. “You can’t get arrested - you promised to take me to meet Killua!”

“Mm, so I did… and I will.” Hisoka renews his promise, getting into the van with Gon, the bulge in his pants noticeable even as he sits down. 

Gon watches as Hisoka pulls his cock out beneath the steering wheel. He knows this means they’re just gonna be here longer so he sits sideways in his seat to help speed this up. They’re on the same team in this, after all. 

“Gon, how do you feel about using ropes during sex?” Hisoka asks, voice already wobbly as he starts stroking himself. 

Gon frowns in thought as he stretches his legs out across the center console towards Hisoka. “You mean like those naked ladies? I don’t know. I don’t get it.” 

Gon kicks Hisoka’s inner thigh sharply, knowing he’ll probably see a big bruise later. 

Hisoka grunts at the impact and his face reddens. He  _ really _ doesn’t get why Hisoka likes getting hit so much but Gon knows it will make him finish faster. Plus, it isn’t all bad. One of Gon’s favorite things about being in school was getting to fight the older boys for fun. Though it is a bit weird to imagine fighting Hisoka in school, a few grades above him, and making a mess in his pants because of it...

“So sweet, I didn’t even have to ask…” Hisoka says, voice thin. “Does it excite you to do this? Putting me in pain…” Hisoka’s hand moves faster and faster. “Violent little monster, aren’t you?”

Gon does feel a little weird watching Hisoka like this. Hisoka’s definitely weirder though. And his face gets so creepy when he’s like this… but Gon doesn’t want to avoid him. Hisoka is really gross, but it’s a different gross from the guys in the gas station. The guys in the gas station were mean to the ladies they want to do sex things with. Hisoka is pretty nice and he lets Gon do whatever he wants most of the time. 

Between the two of them, Gon is meaner during sex things, but Hisoka likes it. It’s all too weird and convoluted for Gon to want to bother figuring out. But, he knows how he feels. 

“You’re weird, but you’re also fun.” Gon is still watching Hisoka’s fast hands but then he looks to the spot he kicked. He wants to see the bruise there when it shows up. He kicks the same spot again. 

Soon, Hisoka is shuddering to the end, staring at Gon in a way he’s come to expect.


	2. Chapter 2

Their last meal sits in Gon’s stomach like a sleeping elephant, and his eyelids feel like broad understory leaves. Gon’s lazy hand moves up the hem of his shirt to scratch his full stomach. It’s hard not to yawn, but with his mouth full of frothy toothpaste, he must fight on.

Gon blinks slowly at his own reflection and feels even sleepier with Hisoka’s warmth radiating onto his left shoulder. The two of them are standing side-by-side, huddled together over the bathroom sink of the diner they just finished eating in. Hisoka is so tall, even without heels, and so familiar.

Two minutes is  _ forever  _ when there’s a toothbrush involved. 

It’s been five days now since Gon left his hometown. He hasn’t heard anything on the radio about his disappearance, but he’s sure they must’ve noticed by now. They probably searched the shore at least a dozen times...

Gon feels bad when he thinks of his aunt searching for him. He wishes he left a note or could call her and let her know he’s fine. That he’s alive and well on his own adventure. But he can’t. Gon’s seen a few police shows and they somehow find clues in the most impossible leads or even have psychics or something. He can’t risk doing something that would get Hisoka in trouble for his own decision. 

Hisoka looks down at Gon as he’s staring. He smiles with his eyes, his own toothbrush in his mouth. Together they’ve locked themselves in a tiny bathroom within a tiny diner. In other words, a perfectly ordinary evening. 

Hisoka looks so tired. Rest stops have been getting further and further apart but that’s probably a good thing. Gon remembers that Killua’s town is really really far away and there isn’t much around it. They should be getting close. 

Not soon enough, all traces of an early dinner are scrubbed away. 

They spit out their toothpaste at the same time in the sink they’re sharing and rinse. It’s fun to do things with Hisoka. To do… well, everything. Absolutely everything. Gon doesn’t feel lonely at all. But Hisoka is used to doing this sort of thing alone all the time. It’s weird to think of living with no family. 

“How much further?” Gon asks, watching Hisoka pull his little bottle of soap out of the pocket of his colorful jacket. 

Unprompted, Gon holds out his palms for a dollop of unscented soap. Gon first, then Hisoka, and the two of them continue their routine by washing their faces together. Gon starts by rubbing circles over his cheeks just like Hisoka does - even when there isn’t anything painted on them. Then Gon closes his eyes to scrub his nose and forehead. 

“Not long now. A half an hour, I expect.” Hisoka replies, voice breezy. 

Gon stops scrubbing and opens with eyes to give Hisoka a hard look, squinting to try and figure out if he’s lying. On this adventure, Hisoka’s lied a total of three times about when they would stop. Ten minutes, an hour, five minutes, and each time he laughed when Gon called him out for being a liar. The worst part is, Gon can’t tell if Hisoka is lying because he’s hiding the fact that he never knows when a good place to stop will come along or if he’s lying because he thinks it’s funny when Gon yells at him. 

Hisoka, feeling Gon’s scrutinizing glare, looks down at him from the corner of his eye. He’s still scrubbing his cheeks. 

“Are you lying?” Gon demands. 

“Oh, I would never lie to you, my tiger.” Hisoka lies with a low purr. 

“Yes you do, liar!” Gon snaps at Hisoka, who places a finger to his lips to tell Gon to be quiet. Gon presses his lips together but inflates his cheeks to let Hisoka know that he’s full of things to call the magician out for. 

Hisoka’s shoulders tremble with a laugh as he and Gon rinse the soap off their faces. He turns back to Gon, the hair around his forehead damp, and takes a step closer to pull Gon’s very serious face into his abdomen. He’s not hard yet, but Hisoka likes to hold him like this even when he’s not hard. 

“I promise, tiger, that I know exactly where we’re stopping tonight. I’ve been to your new friend’s house a few times, so I do know just where to spend the night in the area.” 

Gon glares as hard as he can for another three seconds. Slowly, his cheeks deflate, hot breath soaking the fabric of Hisoka’s shirt. That does cause a twitch in Hisoka’s pants, but Gon doesn’t say anything about it. If he pointed it out every time Hisoka got stiff, he’d hardly talk about anything else. 

“... really?” 

“Really, really.” Hisoka pets Gon’s hair. “So we should hurry along.”

Since Hisoka really, really,  _ really _ seems like he’s telling the truth this time, Gon brightens. 

“Okay! But I have to go to the bathroom first.”

“Naturally,” Hisoka lets go of Gon so he can head over to the toilet. Just as Gon is getting his thumbs in the hem of his pants, he feels a chill crawl down his spine. He whips around to face Hisoka, an indignant blush on his face. 

“You’re not supposed to  _ watch! _ ” Even kids younger than Gon know  _ that.  _

“I’ll let you watch me so it’s fair,” Hisoka says while drumming three fingers against his lips as if that should be an enticing trade for Gon. 

Displeasure hisses through Gon’s teeth. “I don’t want to watch you do it! Turn around!”

Hisoka sighs as though he’s been greatly burdened by this. He makes a show of dramatically covering his eyes then turning so his back is to Gon. Finally, Gon can pee in peace. 

In the van with the sun falling across his right shoulder, Gon spends his time examining the backs of Hisoka’s favorite cards. He’s searching the swirling patterns for anything that looks like a four with a heart or a Q for queen or something that might explain why Hisoka always knows what the card is. It’s not too long before the smooth ride of asphalt under tires changes into the rumble of rough terrain. Gon looks up and sees that Hisoka’s taken a turn to drive them into a forested path.

He turns to Hisoka, who’s looking straight ahead and quite satisfied with himself.

“Really?!” Gon bursts with stars in his eyes.

“Really really,” Hisoka replies.

Hisoka drives in as deep as the forest trail allows. Next to where Hisoka has stopped is a worn-out sign reading “Dentora Regional Park” in faded orange paint.

“Camping!” Gon cheers as he bursts out of the van into the chilly evening. “We’re going to sleep outside, right? Right?”

“Yes,” Hisoka steps out and walks around the other side of the van. In the amount of time it takes for Hisoka to saunter around to the back of the van, Gon’s already circled it once, soaking in the energy of the forest. As soon as Hisoka has opened the van’s back door, Gon hops inside to grab the camping backpack. Gon has had plenty of time to know every detail of his new home, and Hisoka having a bag packed and ready to go at all times only makes sense.

Hisoka takes the large backpack from Gon and gives him the task of carrying their water bottles. No more preparation is needed to begin their short walk down the footpath to the unkempt campgrounds.

Despite Hisoka’s legs nearly being the length of Gon’s entire body, Gon kept ahead by at least a pace at all times. It was his eagerness mixed with his awareness of the quickly setting sun behind them. Gon is confident in his ability to set up a decent camp in the fizzling light of the day, but that wouldn’t leave him too much time to  _ enjoy _ it.

When they reach a suitable clearing, Gon jogs around it in a circle, surveying the slope of the land and the surrounding trees for widow-makers. He stops in a nice spot towards the far end of the clearing and bounces a few times in place. 

“Hisoka! Let’s set up here!” 

Hisoka walks over and places their pack down, trusting Gon’s judgment automatically. Gon grins, seeing Hisoka start to unpack. Gon is confident in himself because he knows his own experiences, but it is really cool to have an adult who’s spent so long living freely believe in him. It’s the fact that Hisoka isn’t saying a word that’s so validating.

The weather should be clear according to the radio and Gon’s nose, but since it is fall it’ll be best to have something against the wind. Gon isn’t worried about staying warm, though. Hisoka is so clingy in his sleep. Just a tarp and a bedroll for them to share.

They move onto the next chore. Gon doesn’t have many chores with Hisoka, but the ones he does make a lot of sense. Together, they mount a laundry line and retrieve the futon from the back of Hisoka’s van so they can air it out in the fall chill. 

“I’ll go find some firewood,” Gon volunteers. He places their water bottles down and runs off into the trees. Hisoka simply waves in acknowledgment.

Mito always said she only yelled at Gon because she loved him and was worried about him. Gon knows that is true but… it’s also nice to have someone so confident in him. That makes Gon feel more grown-up than any of the sex stuff they do.

There aren’t many mushrooms around this late in the season, but Gon does manage to fill his jacket pocket with berries to bring back to Hisoka along with arm-fulls of firewood.

He returns to Hisoka, who’s dug a firepit and rolled a log over for them to share. Gon beams at the thrown-together campsite and knows that this is what his domestic bliss looks like. He sets down the firewood and proudly offers half the berries. Hisoka accepts the palmful and drops them onto his waiting tongue without even asking what they are.

“What a surprisingly underhanded way to kill me after all this time,” Hisoka says, licking his lips at the taste.

“They’re not poisonous.” Gon climbs onto the log Hisoka is leaning against. “I’d never poison someone!”

“I know,” Hisoka smiles over his shoulder at Gon. “It would be much more bloody, I expect.”

Gon hums, considering it as he leans forward over the firepit to knit a loose bundle of twigs, dried leaves, and sap together to get their fire started. He’s never thought of  _ how _ he’d kill someone before. But now that Hisoka brings it up, it’s probably worth thinking about. A little bit, at least.

Gon gets a spark to stick to his fire-starting bundle, and Hisoka leans forward so they can blow on it together. The spark grows and catches on a larger stick. From there, they are prepared for success and Hisoka begins to feed the little fire until it can sustain itself by consuming.

Hisoka turns to smile at Gon, their faces still close together from their careful tending. Without warning, he leans in to kiss Gon on the lips. It’s short but firm.

“We don’t practice kissing enough,” Hisoka sighs wistfully, reaching up to envelope Gon’s cheek in his hand. 

Gon frowns at the implication. “I know how to kiss.” He leans in to press his lips to Hisoka for emphasis.

Hisoka chuckles his condescending chuckle. Just moments ago, Hisoka took him so seriously. It felt like he really did see Gon as a grown-up. Hisoka sits up and reaches a hand out for Gon, inviting him to come closer.

“More than just pressing our lips together?”

Gon huffs and crawls over to Hisoka. He sits right next to him, arms and legs crossed. He’ll just have to prove himself here too.

“I know about kissing  _ with _ tongue.” 

Gon is satisfied when Hisoka’s eyes bulge with genuine shock. He opens his mouth as if to say something then covers it with his hand, not revealing whatever it is yet. Gon smiles and sits up straighter. That’ll teach Hisoka to assume. Gon lifts his chin up high with pride.

“My second-year teacher Ms. Yukako taught me all about kissing!” He brags although she said it wasn’t gentlemanly to kiss and tell, and he sees why if the men who kiss and tell are like the guys from the gas station… But it’s Hisoka and if there’s one person Gon can talk about relationship stuff with, it's Hisoka. Plus, he’s been dying to tell. He’s not very good with secrets.

“... I see,” Hisoka says after a measured but shaky breath. “Didn’t you say your aunt told you to avoid dangerous people and touches you don’t like?”

Gon frowns. That is what he told Hisoka when they first went camping together, but he doesn’t see the connection.

“Sure, but Ms. Yukako wasn’t a stranger, and she never touched me in ways I didn’t like. They weren’t adult touches either because lots of my classmates talked about kissing.” It was not really the boys his age because they said girls were gross, but Gon only knew a few boys his age and thought they were wrong anyway.

Hisoka is looking into the fire rather than at Gon. For some reason, that makes Gon feel a bit unsure of himself. Hisoka’s really creepy with how he stares at Gon, but he does it so often it’s just… normal. It’s not normal to have Hisoka looking away.

Just as Gon feels the threads of an idea begin to form, Hisoka laughs so loudly, and abruptly it tangles them up.

“Oh… oh dear…” Hisoka gasps between erratic laughs, throwing his arm over his eyes as his head drops back.

Then Hisoka snatches Gon off of the log to bring him into his lap.

“Second year, hm? Ah, well, my mistake. No wonder you’re such a charmer.” Hisoka’s hands settle themselves up inside Gon’s shirt against his stomach. They’re warm and large and familiar.

“Show me how good you can kiss, tiger.” 

Gon’s legs fall on either side of Hisoka’s waist, and he steadies himself with his hands on Hisoka’s chest. He looks up at Hisoka’s face to see that thin smile curling up crooked and strange. Gon isn’t sure which part of what he said was so funny to Hisoka - but whatever it was Gon will prove it to him. He’s a great kisser.

He reaches up to take Hisoka’s cheeks into his hands and stretches up to kiss him. Firm again but this time tilting his head to fit their noses together. Hisoka’s nose is longer and more narrow than Ms. Yukako’s and so are his lips but Gon can adapt. He didn’t spend all that time practicing kissing to get tripped up now.

Ms. Yukako never got hard between Gon’s legs when he used his tongue, but she did get all breathy like Hisoka. She always said how important it was for Gon to be a considerate young man, which always made sense because Mito would teach him how to be considerate too. Mito would teach Gon to pick up Grandma’s plate without being asked and Ms. Yukako would teach Gon to use just enough tongue without being “crude and clumsy” like her ex-husband. 

Apparently, Hisoka never got that lesson because he uses his tongue  _ a lot _ . Gon scrunches his nose as Hisoka licks his face like a dog. He doubts any ladies would appreciate that.

From there, the kiss is a frenzy of Hisoka’s moans and his eager tongue that wants to be everywhere at once, including Gon’s cheek. Hisoka is so impatient as he pulls his erection out to hump Gon’s stomach like they usually do. The only real difference this time is the kiss.

When they get into the bedroll together that night, ambers smoldering and hair smelling of campfire smoke, Gon lays awake in Hisoka’s arms and thinks. He thinks about Hisoka and Ms. Yukako a little bit, but mostly he thinks of how few  _ adult touches _ Hisoka has shown him despite promising to. Plus, Hisoka thought that Gon didn’t really know about kissing… It seems Hisoka is treating Gon more like a kid than he originally thought.

* * *

Sleep and dirty dreams go hand-in-hand for Hisoka. Much of his adult life is characterized by long periods of solitude where his only company could be found in sleep - mostly in the form of companions of the past or sweet Killua. For Hisoka, dreams of a hot, tiny mouth trailing down the underside of his erection would be mundane. Almost boring except… this feeling… it’s more tangible…

Hisoka opens his eyes, blinking in the darkness. The forest floor was only dabbled by the light of the waxing gibbous moon which penetrated through the canopy. In the sparse light, Hisoka was just barely able to make out the shape of a small lump moving within the depths of his bedroll. This might have been more frightening if the mass didn’t have a tongue getting to know the shaft of Hisoka’s erection extremely well. A tongue that could only belong to one person.

“Ah,  _ tiger, _ ” Hisoka moans, clutching the bedroll and lifting his hips into the sensation - earning a yelp he’s already so intimate with. 

“Hisoka!” The squeak of Hisoka’s young molester pipes up from beneath the bedding.

Hisoka groans in disappointment when the licking stops. He feels Gon crawl up his body to poke his head up into the fresh night air, hair wilder than ever with damp strands sticking in all directions. Hisoka looks down to meet those dark,  _ strange _ eyes filled with something adjacent to mischief. 

“Gon…” Hisoka moans, so aware of the little hands braced against his bare chest, how their skin clings together in the too-hot bedroll, and the grin on the most adorable little boy’s face that glints in the moonlight.

The little boy who, in his little head, decided to suck Hisoka off in his sleep.

Hisoka is full of questions, the worst of which being the reflexive  _ what are you doing _ . He resists asking something so ridiculous but only barely.

“... to what do I owe the pleasure?” He finally asks

“You haven’t been teaching me anything new.  _ And _ every time we do adult touches you barely let me try anything. You always just grab me, and you cling too hard, and then I can’t touch you how I want.” Gon accuses.

Gon, sweet, darling, Gon decided in his little brain that the best course of action for not getting to touch Hisoka as he pleased would be to do it when Hisoka was sleeping and couldn’t stop him. 

“I see,” Hisoka’s mind feels disconnected from his body as he drops his head back to look at the sky. 

He reaches down to run his fingers through Gon’s damp hair, the thick strands tickling beneath his nails. 

“You got me. It was a successful surprise attack.”

Hisoka’s kid chuckles triumphantly before ducking back into the bedding. Hisoka’s hand follows him down, still in the boy’s hair. 

He scratches Gon’s hair and pets his cheek as that little mouth fits onto the side of the shaft. Hisoka grips the bedroll, wanting to respect his tiny companion’s wishes and not take over. 

Hisoka’s breath catches when Gon sets his teeth against the base experimentally then rises up into the night sky like smoke as a deep groan. He doesn’t know if Gon will bite him, and that’s the best part. 

The bedroll shifts as Gon moves beneath it to explore Hisoka’s throbbing erection. Looking down to see it and knowing that  _ Gon _ , the most adorable boy, is under there, makes something in the base of Hisoka’s brain tingle. He can feel the same fingers that fiddle with his radio dial slipping  _ down _ and the bridge of the nose that had whipped cream on it from yesterday’s hot chocolate. 

Everything about Gon is a contradiction. His age and experience, his sweetness and his selfishness, his morality… it’s all so wonderfully of the world. Maybe it’s just the deliciously amateur blowjob talking, but Hisoka has never felt more earthly and detached from reality all at once. 


	3. Chapter 3

Never in his life has Hisoka wanted to be a teacher before. Most children are completely uninteresting to him and the odd chance that he would find one he liked wouldn’t have been worth it. What a waste of his artistic talents it would have been - to be cooped up in a classroom year after year with whiny, unappetizing children. 

With his darling boy deep inside their bedroll, pressing down on the bruises he kicked into Hisoka’s thighs earlier while sucking until thick cum gelled in his hair, Hisoka thinks that he envies one teacher in the world. From how hesitant Gon used to be to touch Hisoka’s cock, it’s not likely Ms. Yu-Something taught Gon how to handle a dick. However, she did _teach_ him when he was even younger and tinier. 

It’s funny _._ It’s so _funny_ that thinking of it again makes Hisoka giggle as he pulls Gon out of the bedroll and drags him up to straddle Hisoka’s face. 

“Did Ms. Yamamura ever do this to you?” Hisoka asks, nuzzling the underside of Gon’s stiffening cock. 

“No, and it’s Ms. Yukako,” Gon grips Hisoka’s hair tightly and clamps his thighs around moon-pale cheeks tightly for support. 

“That’s what I said.” Hisoka goes for a breezy tone but trapped in the strength of Gon’s thighs he sounds squished. 

It’s a shame that no companion Hisoka has ever had would have seen the funny side. Even Gon, the sweet kindred spirit that he is, probably wouldn’t get the joke. Perhaps Ms. Yukako could, but Hisoka doubts it. A woman like her preying on such a young boy was likely seeking some form of control when the punchline here is the complete absence of control.

He wraps his hands around the boyish thighs tight enough to press in some bruises of his own. Like the little adventurer he is, Gon accepts the bit of pain with grace. Only the shifting of soft skin against Hisoka’s cheeks shows his discomfort. Hisoka can’t contain his overwhelming affection, humming as he nuzzles between Gon’s legs. 

Gon still hasn’t shown much interest in receiving sexual stimulation. Whenever Hisoka touches Gon, it’s been for the sake of Hisoka’s pleasure. If Gon thinks that understanding this mess of feral sexuality is necessary for him to understand Hisoka… Well, he’s probably right. Removing the sexual element of Hisoka’s interest in Gon would be like choosing to use a map missing landmarks.

It isn’t bad to have such a sexually considerate partner, but Gon doesn’t lack selfishness in any other part of their lives together - happy to steal food from Hisoka’s plate and dominate the radio. Just as Hisoka encourages the mundane selfishness, he will encourage any of Gon’s budding sexual selfishness.

Hisoka takes Gon into his mouth to feel him harden on his tongue. He moans with delight and the low buzz of it has Gon gasping - gripping Hisoka’s matted hair painfully without any intent to pull him away. Shaking hands fall out of Hisoka’s hair and drop to the bedroll behind Gon’s head as the balance is sucked out of him. 

Gon’s hips buck forward into the heat of Hisoka’s mouth. The length is easy for Hisoka to manage - or rather the lack of length, but the movement combined with Gon’s body weight is a little rough. Hisoka doesn’t know how long this adventure between them will last but he would love to see Gon when he’s a little older. Maybe fifteen or sixteen. He’d be able to rough Hisoka up so bad then… 

For now, Hisoka will relish in what he’s taken for himself while being perfectly positioned to take more. Pink strands of hair come loose as the tension in Hisoka’s boy unravels - scattering forensic evidence of their crimes in a forest no one will be investigating. So comfortable with this reality and each other, they sleep well that night. Hisoka’s dreams are filled with sweet images of chasing little Gon through a playground in the woods, who knows with increasing excitement that it’s only a matter of time before he’s caught. 

Saturday morning arrives late - as Saturday mornings should. Sunlight filters through the trees, dappling through the fallen leaves. The wandering pair are buried deep inside their bedroll, sheltered from the dew and the chill in the air. The best part about sleeping in the cold is being encased in a warm cocoon. The worst part about sleeping in the cold is getting out of the warm cocoon. With no rush to leave, it’s a lazy morning, just outside of the Zoldyk’s hometown. 

Hisoka comes into consciousness with the skin of Gon’s cheek practically fused to his chest. Gon’s deep breaths roll over Hisoka’s skin like water lapping at the shore. With Gon’s legs on either side of Hisoka’s thigh, Hisoka lets his hand drop down from its resting position on Gon’s lower back to his backside. The corners of his lips twitch as his sleepy mind conjures up the mental image of holding Gon just like this. The kid sitting in his hand, clinging to Hisoka’s side like a child. Ah, well, the child that he is. Or maybe a younger one. So cute… but on the rare occasions they stop anywhere, Gon has so much energy to run off. Carrying him wouldn’t be good for that…

Children go missing every day. That’s what Hisoka’s been thinking these past few days. Children go missing and after a certain point people give up hope of finding them. There are some children who never see the light of day. Hisoka knows that much very well, despite Illumi’s wishes. So, what’s one more child for Hisoka to have all for himself?

Call it a… budget adoption. 

Warm at the thought, Hisoka rolls onto his side, still clutching Gon. Gon groans as his sleep is disturbed but he clings to it like the growing boy he is - all too comfortable to stick to his undeserving guardian. 

Illumi will know how to finalize this adoption - being such a control freak. He’ll have good advice. Few people in this world know how to get away with crime better than a Zoldyck and even fewer who are so easily accessible for Hisoka. Most of his _friends_ aren’t homebodies like Illumi. 

Soon, Gon is awake, but even then he can’t conjure a reason to jump out of the bedroll right away when they have such a perfect morning to embody moss. Until, of course, it’s either get up or wet the bedroll. 

They share a hearty breakfast of nuts and dried fruit and Hisoka watches Gon who has his eyes trained on a nearby squirrel that’s working hard on its nest. 

“Tiger,” Hisoka finally breaks the silence of the morning when the squirrel is out of sight, “would you like to learn a magic trick?”

Gon’s gaze snaps to Hisoka, eyes sparkling. 

“Really? Yes! Which one?!” Gon leans forward as all his enthusiasm tumbles out in a hurry. 

“You haven’t seen it yet,” Hisoka chuckles, unable to resist reaching out to drag his morning sun into his lap. “This is going to be a trick just for you. And if you want, you can be part of my act. There’s a nice fall festival coming up in Killua’s hometown and it would be such a shame if there wasn’t a magic show, right?”

At this point, it’s either perform or steal and while Hisoka is quite good at making things disappear he enjoys putting on a show much more. At heart, he’s an artist, not a boring thief. 

“You’re gonna do magic again!” Gon bursts like a jack in the box, grabbing Hisoka for a hug. “I’m so glad. I know you’ve been busy making sure no one finds us, but you’re a super great magician.”

Hisoka’s magic is what sparked their relationship. It seems they’ve both been impatient to get that wonder back.

“Making you disappear has been one of my grander tricks.” Hisoka pulls a piece of dried banana out from Gon’s ear to feed it to him. “But it’s time I give other audiences something to marvel at.”

“What’s my trick? What’s my trick?!” Gon bounces in Hisoka’s lap impatiently, making the great magician shudder and groan. Joy so childish and open and just the right motion… Hisoka thinks at least some of his sins should be forgiven for not springing a subject change on his kid. 

“Easy, tiger cub,” Hisoka’s voice trembles with barely suppressed heat. “I’ll show you.” 

He licks his lips to try and contain the rush of desire and refocus. He’s going to make Gon even happier and then he can get off.

“You’re going to be the strongest boy in the world.”

* * *

A windy day always feels much colder next to a gas pump. Hisoka links his fingers together behind his back to stretch - warming himself by waking up his circulation. He takes a deep breath, bending at the waist with his eyes closed. Thirty more minutes on the road and they’ll be eating a late lunch at the base of Kukuroo Mountain. 

“Hisoka!” Gon shatters the silence as he clambers over the center console to hop out of the van through the driver’s side. 

Hisoka opens his eyes to see feet hitting the pavement and then looks up to Gon, his comic book in hand. Hisoka unlinks his fingers and bends his knees, crouching. Gon closes the few paces of asphalt between them to get into Hisoka's space. 

“Hisoka, look at this!” Gon thrusts the open comic right in Hisoka’s face - too close for him to see it properly. It’s when Hisoka leans his head back and squints for a better look when he’s struck with a peculiar feeling, all at once. He didn’t have this feeling when buying Gon clothes or food… but right now, trying to see something Gon wants to share with him, Hisoka wonders if this is what being a dad feels like. The uninvited notion strikes Hisoka like a sucker-punch. 

Within the scope of Hisoka’s entire life, this may be the strangest he’s ever felt. And that is quite a lot to consider. 

“Can we make my hair like _this?”_ Gon points to the spiky-haired protagonist on the worn page. “You always do your hair for shows, right? Do mine too!”

“... Certainly.” Hisoka slowly straightens back up, steady despite having been so shaken. 

He ruffles the wild curls of his adorable little boy. His kid. “You’ll need a new look since you’re joining the act.”

Hisoka has already thought through the risk that will come with presenting Gon in front of a crowd. He already had something in mind for that, and the addition of a new hairstyle will certainly help. 

Hisoka keeps his hand in Gon’s hair as he leans for a forehead kiss. He’s knocked off-balance one again when Gon surges up to quickly steal a kiss on the lips. 

On the far side of Hisoka’s van, a truck parks by the other pump. The kiss was meant to be chaste, so Hisoka stands upright, but the tease has him licking his lips. The risk of getting caught… Hisoka glances down at Gon, seeing the twinkle in his eyes and the barely contained mischief in his smile. 

“... be careful, tiger cub,” Hisoka whispers. 

He steps back to remove the pump and close the gas cap. All thoughts of fatherhood are quickly boiled away by lust.

* * *

“Are you almost done?” Gon whines. 

“You can’t rush perfection, tiger.” Hisoka chides. 

The lights are on in the back of the van so Hisoka can see his masterpiece as the sun sets outside. They’re parked in the town at the base of the mountain now. Outside, the town is alive with people setting up booths and preparing food for the first night of the fall festival. Opening night. 

Hisoka’s already completed his own look: his signature star and teardrop are painted on, his hair is gelled into place, and he’s wearing his favorite purple corset. He’s even gone for an extra flair with some glitter to accentuate his cheekbones. 

He’s working on his little co-star now. Gon’s never worn makeup before. According to him, his working aunt has never worn it either. What a tragedy… so he wasn’t exactly prepared for the amount of work Hisoka had planned for his face. But Hisoka has a vision and no amount of childish whining and fidgeting will stop him. 

Sunset orange bursts across Gon’s kissable forehead. The color trails down the bridge of his nose and across his cheekbones. Using his sponges, Hisoka masterfully blends it out to fade across the rest of his skin so the boy’s face isn’t _entirely_ orange. Only the top half, like a soft masquerade mask. Over the orange, Hisoka draws diagonal stripes with liquid eyeliner to mimic the kingly stripes of a tiger. Hisoka’s little tiger cub. Bits of gold glitter add more flare and make Gon’s tanned skin utterly dazzling. 

For a finishing touch, Hisoka gives his kid some much-needed chapstick followed by a kiss before sitting back to admire his work. 

“Ah, perfect…” Hisoka gushes. He touches Gon’s chin to lift his face to catch the light on the glitter. “My sweet monster.” 

Gon looks so precious. The cute little animal that he is brought out to be seen. Hisoka’s wild little boy… Hisoka wants him now. Perhaps their show can wait. Hisoka could take Gon back into the woods and they could both share in their true nature - filthy and feral. 

“Ah! You’re not done yet!” Gon pulls away from Hisoka’s touch and the bubbling hearts in Hisoka’s eyes pop.

Gon turns around to fish an item out of their futon - that comic of his again. He flips it open and points to the boy on the page with gravity-defying hair. 

“Just like this!” He reminds Hisoka as if he forgot his little boy’s desires. 

“This is the main character. He’s so cool! He’s super strong and I wanna be like that!” Gon continues, sweetly talking and talking about the comic that he likes so much. He gets so excited about it, he hardly takes a breath when he gets into the plot. 

Hisoka takes the worn comic from Gon’s hands to look at the picture. The main character’s hair is spiked straight up. Hisoka will have to buy more gel after this. He combs his fingers through the unruly hair and Gon does his best to resume sitting up straight and still. 

“It’s best to look however you like.” Hisoka hums, getting the first scoop of gel. 

His own hair hasn’t been a _natural_ color in so many years. Appearances are so… suggestible. He’s glad to have Gon getting into the spirit of things. And with the tiger face-paint, Gon won’t be easy to recognize should anyone on this side of the country have a concerning level of interest in distant missing children. 

By the time Gon’s hair is set in place, lanterns out in the town are lighting the streets, inviting people to come out into the night and play. There are other people wearing masks or having painted faces for the festival. The only way Gon and Hisoka could look out-of-place is with their unusual good looks and charm.

They find a spot and Hisoka begins to work his magic to attract a crowd. There are children and adults alike, watching every move Hisoka wants them to see, including his precious cub. Hisoka relishes in the wonder and attention, especially after so long, like shedding his human skin and coming back into himself, a being meant to baffle the mind. 

The adults in the crowd don’t think anything is amiss when Hisoka has some of the spectating children participate in the tricks. That’s because there’s nothing for them to notice. Hisoka doesn’t feel a thing for these boring children. Gon has been watching and Hisoka cares more about exciting him than any other onlooker. 

For his final trick, he calls on three more children to assist him, one of them being a spirited tiger cub. Hisoka passed the deck of cards he’s used for several tricks throughout the performance to the children, challenging them each to try and tear the stack in half. A few more children than the ones Hisoka called out jump at the challenge, eager to prove that they can do it. But of course, they all fail, except for one special child. With a wild grunt of effort, Gon tears the pack of cards to the amazement of the crowd. Gon beams at the applause as he looks between Hisoka and the audience, filled with the joy of his practice paying off.

Now that it’s clear Gon is in on the act, the adults offer their tips into his bag. And how could they resist? A spectacular show with the cutest little boy winning the hearts of all with a sunny smile. Hisoka is so pleased. Proud, even. When Hisoka first taught him the trick he was determined to learn it perfectly and he did. He practiced relentlessly and then pulled it off in front of a crowd with a winning personality. 

Hisoka’s attention is pulled from Gon when a young woman approaches him. She has a three-year-old in one hand and a meager tip in the other. She offers the money to Hisoka with a demure smile. 

“It’s so sweet of you to include your son,” she says in a low voice as she watches Gon effortlessly make friends with the other children.

“I know how hard being a parent can be, especially if you’re doing it on your own.” Her soft smile reflects her weariness and she has a knowing look in her eyes - having no idea about the most dramatic illusion that’s happening right before her. 

Hisoka offers the single mother a smile of his own, perfectly sympathetic. 

“I think you’re the one who’s sweet,” He reaches up towards her to pull a morsel of wrapped chocolate from her ear and offers it to her. 

The woman gasps lightly then giggles, blushing from the unexpected flirtation. Her little child creature gurgles and reaches for the candy just as Gon is returning to Hisoka’s side. 

The mother, remembering her sensibilities, accepts the chocolate and steps back, tucking a strand of hair behind her magical ear. 

“Ah, I won’t take any more of your time. I hope you two enjoy the rest of the festival.” She waves to Hisoka and Gon individually then leaves. 

She leaves Gon with Hisoka, still charmed by him. Probably imagining Hisoka as a loving and creative, if not eccentric, father. That Hisoka probably, at some point, was with a woman who had beautiful dark skin, wild black hair, and the sun in her smile. That Hisoka had a son with that woman, a happy and sociable little boy, perfectly healthy and normal. And that Hisoka, after his show, might pursue a mousy single mother because he could have been at least a little attracted to her.

For Hisoka, the show never ends, and he lives to perform. 

Hisoka waves back at the woman, still smiling, before turning to his little boy. Gon hands him the bag of cash and Hisoka counts it before giving Gon half for his hard work. 

“You should enjoy the festival.”

Gon beams and accepts the money. 

“Thanks! What do you want to do first?” 

Hisoka resists the urge to ruffle the boy’s styled hair. 

“I have a call to make so I’ll be in the van. You go have fun, I’ll see you later.”

“Okay!” 

With that, Gon runs off into the crowd. No doubt he’ll find some friends, maybe one of the kids who watched the show and try to eat himself sick. 

This city’s fall festival is practically on Killua’s front porch. Despite being so close, Hisoka still isn’t entirely certain how he’ll manage to get a playdate for Gon and Killua. The Zoldyk’s are so overprotective…

… as of now, Hisoka thinks that his best bet will be through Illumi, the trusted older brother. First, he’ll have to convince Illumi that his sole interest is now in Gon. That he doesn’t want to drag Killua into the back of his van and pull his clothes off to see how he’s grown… it’ll be a tough act to pull off. His greatest performance yet. 

Perhaps he’ll play into Illumi’s interests and be able to convince him that it’ll be good for Killua to meet Gon. Get Illumi to think that Hisoka’s relationship with Gon will set a good example for his prickly younger brother. One way or another, he could probably get Gon to call him _big brother_ in earshot of Illumi. Make Illumi think that Gon will tell Killua big age gaps are cool and fun or something equally ridiculous. Whether or not it’s true doesn’t matter. Only that Illumi thinks it’ll happen…

Then, he can get the information he needs and leave with a good plan to make the adventure last for years.


	4. Chapter 4

With his earnings for the night tucked safely inside the pocket of the windbreaker that's zipped up to his neck, Gon has everything he needs for a night of fun. 

He looks into the flow of the festival, eyes wide and eager to explore all of the interesting things for himself. He likes doing things with Hisoka, but going off on his own still has a magical feeling. As his gaze wanders across the crowds and booths packed with possibilities, his eyes catch a glimpse of shocking white hair, stopping Gon’s next breath in his throat. 

People cross Gon’s line of sight but his focus is unwavering. The boy with white hair glances around warily, giving Gon the split second he needs to confirm who exactly is in line at the crepe stand. 

_ Killua! _

Gon’s lips part with a sharp gasp and impulse almost has him calling out his new friend’s name. 

His hands clench into fists that tremble with excitement but inside he’s silent, just watching. Killua has his hands stuffed into his pockets like in the photo Hisoka showed him. Unlike the photo, his shoulders are drawn up to his ears, lacking the cool grace Gon memorized. He keeps shifting, looking around as though he’s expecting someone to jump out at him. Just like Gon almost did. 

Another faceless group of people passes, breaking Gon’s line of sight, and he takes a breath - only now realizing he hadn’t since the sight of Killua froze him. 

The line for the crepe stand moves forward a place and that spurs Gon into motion. Making friends is something he knows he’s good at. He does it all the time and it’s just like fishing. He makes the first move by putting himself out there for the other person to see. When they come in closer to take a look, Gon pays attention to them. And then, well, success. 

Gon’s never been so nervous to make a friend before. As he approaches Killua, taking the place in line behind him, he realizes that he really,  _ really _ doesn’t want to fail, and that’s thrilling. His smile is wide with uncertainty and somewhere inside he knows that he can’t just tell Killua that he’s been looking for him. That he has traveled halfway across the country to see him in person. Maybe it’s because of how on-edge Killua seems to be or that it’s kind of strange to know someone before they know you. Whatever the reason, Gon won’t blurt out the truth. He won’t be lying, not totally, and concealing just a bit of the strange reality will make both of them happy. Just like a little sleight of hand. No harm meant in that. 

Now, right behind his target, Gon’s fully conscious of his own throbbing heartbeat. He leans in a bit, his bottom lip trembling just before he opens his mouth. 

“Which one are you gonna get?”

Killua bristles like a cat and whirls around. His hands leap out of his pockets up to a defensive position. The long sleeves Killua wears sag down slightly, giving Gon a glimpse of bandages on his wrists. He takes note of them but doesn’t linger. Gon often gets banged up on his own adventures. 

Killua relaxes only slightly when he sees Gon, a friendly but unfamiliar boy his age. His hands lower to be stuffed back into his pant pockets but his eyes are still narrow. He’s on guard since Gon’s only just arrived. 

“I don’t really know…” Killua lies, taking a step back so Gon isn't so close. 

There’s a fluttering feeling inside of Gon’s chest as he can finally get a proper look at Killua. Like his heart is screaming for air but he doesn’t want to breathe and risk scaring off his catch. 

From the small photo on Hisoka’s phone screen, Gon couldn’t really see the details of Killua. Now the details feel so important - too important for something like a phone camera to portray properly. The photo that had enchanted Gon now seems like an insult. He looks hard, feeling an empirical need to see as much of Killua as possible. 

Killua looked so pale in the brightly lit picture - a white streak of light that couldn’t be stained. But here, in the night under the warm colors of paper lanterns, Gon can see how wrong that was. Killua’s icy skin and hair take on the splashes of colors all around him as if eager to accept all the warmth they can get. 

It’s Killua’s dark, upturned eyes that now seem untouchable. They’re big and blue and remind Gon of that one cursed gem he read about in a magazine in the line at the grocery store. Those piercing eyes look straight at Gon from beneath Killua’s windswept hair - like the choppy white-capped waves of the ocean during a thunderstorm. An ocean that would mercilessly kill anyone to fall into its depths. 

“I was thinking about getting one of the berry ones.” Gon casts his lure fearlessly, looking straight at Killua even though it makes his heart tremble. 

“... well… I might be getting one of the chocolate ones…” Killua opens up just a bit so Gon eagerly displays some bait. 

“That sounds good! I don’t really eat a lot of chocolate, so I don’t think about getting it. Berries are usually what I eat because they’re such a treat to find. Especially this time of year.”

Killua’s wary expression cracks as an amused eyebrow quirks up. “That doesn’t make any sense,” he laughs. “If you don’t eat a lot of chocolate shouldn’t you get it when you can?”

“Mm, maybe.” Gon beams back. 

Killua’s shoulders ease down as he drops his guard enough to turn his back to Gon and order himself a chocolate crepe with extra chocolate sauce. Gon gets his with berries and cream, offering payment with a proud clink of hard-earned coins. 

To his left, Killua is already walking away, having his first bite of the crepe. Gon quickly rushes after him. The cream gushes out of the side of Killua’s crepe and gets on the corner of his mouth. His lips are a pale pink but rounder than Hisoka’s. More… pouty. 

“Let me try some of yours!” Gon leans into Killua’s shoulder, wanting to be close to him. 

“Huh? No way! If you wanted this one you should’ve gotten it for yourself!” Pressed to Killua’s side, Gon is able to notice how his cheeks show their own color even as he’s leaning away, holding his crepe out of reach. 

“But I wanna try both, don’t you? It makes more sense like this.” 

Gon holds out his crepe to Killua who turns his face away but doesn’t simply step to the side to avoid Gon. 

“What the hell? I don’t even know who you are.”

Gon’s cheeks hurt from smiling, knowing this is it. He did it! Killua is his new friend, just like Gon wanted. 

“I’m Gon!” Gon finally introduces himself. “Now you know, so let’s share.”

Even in the night under the orange lights, Gon can see Killua’s frosted complexion melt into rosy softness. Killua looks down at Gon’s crepe, hesitating a bit longer, then gives in and takes a bite. He quickly turns his head away as he chews so Gon can’t see his face. 

“... ‘s alright…” Killua mutters. “Chocolate is better… I’m Killua.”

Gon dives forward to bite the rich chocolate crepe. 

“Mm!”

As he’s chewing, Gon looks up and sees a stall for a ring toss beneath a hand-painted banner. “Ah! Let’s play that!” Gon points with his free hand across the front of Killua’s body with his mouth full. 

“Hey! Gross!” Killua shoves Gon’s face away. 

Killua is bristling again, but now they’re friends so it’s a different bristle. Gon is certain they’re friends so he just tries to swallow before laughing. 

“I bet I can get more points than you!” He challenges. 

“Huh? No way! I bet-!” 

Before Killua can finish, Gon takes his friend by the shoulder to bring him to the ring toss game. He’s not really interested in any of the prizes hanging across the booth - but games are worth it for the reward of friends and fun. And getting more points than Killua. 

Killua does beat Gon at ring toss but Gon beats Killua in superball scooping. Killua wins at darts but Gon gets the biggest prize at Senbonbiki. 

“That’s just luck anyway,” Killua says as he tears a blue puff of cotton candy he picked up at some point to pop into his mouth. “It doesn’t really count.”

“Does too! Luck is important.”

Gon’s latest prize, a large stuffed thing that could be a panda or a raccoon, is tucked under his arm. He isn’t quite sure what he’ll do with it but he won’t worry about that now. 

He reaches into Killua’s bag of cotton candy to help himself. 

“Get your own,” Killua says without doing anything to stop Gon. 

Killua has an interesting assortment of prizes. The blue demon mask that rests on the back of his head seems fitting. Then, of course, the bag of balls from superball scooping that anyone would like. From the other games there were small plushies he won and then left around for younger kids to find. The strangest prize Killua picked out after winning the darts game. A soft, white bunny with a pink bow and matching frilly dress. It doesn’t seem like the sort of thing a cool guy like Killua would want and yet he keeps it clutched to his chest. 

Their shoulders brush as they walk through the festival, sharing the cotton candy. They play everything Gon’s pocket will allow and end up tied. Well, Killua is in the lead by one if Senbonbiki doesn’t count, but Gon thinks it should count. 

Even though Gon only has a few coins left in his pocket, too little to play any more games, Killua doesn’t leave his side. Killua doesn’t even mention having come to the festival with any friends or family who could be waiting for him. Similarly, Gon also has no way to explain why there’s no one waiting up for him, so he won’t ask Killua about it. They make their way to a free bench at the edge of the festival to sit together. Killua sits with the bunny in his lap to keep it from getting dirty and Gon does the same with his bear-raccoon. He thinks that maybe Hisoka will like it, and if he doesn’t, Gon will just find another kid to give it to. The van doesn’t have much free space anyway. 

Gon looks at Killua’s rabbit, now thinking that maybe he got it for someone else. Maybe a gift for a girl he likes… but then Killua would be enjoying the festival with the girl and not Gon, wouldn’t he?

Gon considers this as he’s looking at the rabbit. He then looks to Killua’s face - his flushed pale skin and his sugary lips - and decides that Killua probably doesn’t like girls. 

Killua’s lips curl in on themselves and he places a self-conscious - protective? - hand over the rabbit. 

“Ugh, stop staring, it’s for my little sister.”

“Ah.” That makes sense. Killua can, probably, not  _ like  _ girls but still like his little sister. “We can go give it to her now! Is she here?” 

Gon knows that Hisoka is friends with Killua’s older brother, but he didn’t know about any other siblings. Killua has an older brother and a younger sister  _ at least _ . He nods to himself, amending the picture of Killua’s life in his mind. 

“She’s at home,” Killua says without inflection. It’s emotionally distant in a way that makes Gon certain that he shouldn’t glance towards the mountain where he knows Killua lives. 

“Alright…” Gon doesn’t want to ask when Killua has to go home. All the way up the mountain, according to Hisoka. With butlers and security which is why Hisoka was supposed to be the one to set up their meeting. Gon wasn’t supposed to be able to meet Killua on his own. 

“Parents are the worst,” Killua grumbles. “Always bossing me and my sister around.”

Gon brings his feet in to sit cross-legged and looks up at the sky. He can’t see many stars with the street lit up but he knows they’re there. 

“I don’t have any siblings,” Gon shares. “And my Aunt Mito - she’s like my mom - I think she’s a great mom.”

Killua huffs and doesn’t join Gon in looking up. 

“My mom’s totally crazy. She’d freak out if she knew I came to the festival.”

“Really?” 

Gon tries to imagine what it would be like to be scolded for going outside on a nice night with his whole town celebrating. His aunt has scolded him for going out in storms, but there isn’t a cloud in the sky… 

“- and it’s not just my mom,” Killua continues, voice rising. “My dad, I thought he was cool, but he-!” Killua stops abruptly and presses his face into the rabbit. 

“Nevermind.”

Gon glances at Killua who doesn’t seem to want to be looked at. He slowly reaches over, not sure if Killua is more like a wild animal or a pet, and places a hand on his knee. 

“I still have a few coins left.” He points to the toy capsule machine on the other side of the street. “Come on, I want to get one of those.”

Killua looks across the street through the meandering crowd, his mouth still in the rabbit, but when he blinks his eyes come back softer. 

“... Yeah, me too.”

Gon leads the way through the crowd with Killua right behind him. As soon as he gets to the machine, stuffed full of keychains, he pulls out his last coins and turns them through for his final prize of the night. Killua takes his turn and they crouch next to the machines together. They count to three and open their capsules at the same time. 

“Aw,” Killua frowns as he pulls a little cat out of his purple capsule. “I get this one all the time. What gives?”

Gon pulls the dog keychain out of his red capsule. 

“I’ve never gotten either before,” he chuckles. This machine isn’t in Whale Town. 

He holds the dog out to Killua.

“Trade me!”

Killua’s frown wobbles. 

“We don’t have to trade just ‘cause I got a repeat.” 

“I know, but I want to trade. If you get that one all the time it must be the universe, right?” Gon takes the cat out of Killua’s hand. “Like the universe is saying -  _ this is Killua _ \- so I want it!”

There’s a sharp intake of breath next to Gon and he looks over to see Killua, brows pinched in outrage and skin crimson down his neck. 

“What the hell?! What do you - how can you just  _ say  _ that?!”

Gon beams and holds the dog out to Killua. Now he’s very sure that Killua doesn’t like girls. 

“Because it’s true?” 

Slowly, as if worried Gon will pull the dog back and laugh in his face, Killua reaches out to take the keychain. Gon’s heart is in his ears again as the cool skin of Killua’s fingers brushes his own. 

“You’re so weird,” Killua grumbles, hiding the keychain in a tight fist then shoving it deep into his pocket. “We barely know each other.”

Maybe it is a little unfair that Gon knew of Killua’s existence before this. He’s had longer to decide that they were going to be friends - although he’s pretty sure he always would’ve known he wanted Killua as a friend right away. 

“So what? You’re my friend now.” Gon fires back. 

“Ugh!” Killua hides his red face behind his fingers and Gon wonders why he doesn’t just wear his mask. “Fine, I guess I know you well enough to know you’re stubborn as hell.”

“That’s right,” Gon scrunches his face and sticks his tongue out at Killua which finally makes Killua laugh. 

His laugh, sweet and pretty as the boy himself, infects Gon so he has to laugh too. 

They move away from the machines as a group of teens approach. Sharing the desire to be alone together without needing to share the words for it, the two of them drift further from the crowds towards the sparse trees that line the base of the mountain. 

“So… how old are you?” Killua asks to move the conversation. 

“I’m twelve, but I’ll be thirteen this spring.” Gon says with pride, feeling plenty old enough to be thirteen already. He hopes that Killua feels the same since Killua is a little taller. 

“Really? I’ll be thirteen this summer!” Killua says with a grin. 

Gon beams back. So, they are the same age, with Killua being only a few months younger despite his height. 

They stop at a piled stone wall, just inside the treeline. The sort of rustic barrier that reminds Gon of the stone wall back in Whale Town. As they pick a spot to sit together, Gon wonders if Killua ever runs along the stones, just for the fun of it. 

Hisoka said something special about birthdays. Something about the stars and personality and  _ compatibility… _ he sort of wishes he knew the stars for Killua’s birthday, but he doesn’t need them to know they must be super compatible. He can only remember what Hisoka said to him about their relationship...

It was many weeks ago, the second night Gon spent with Hisoka and the first night he spent out of Whale Town. Hisoka was laying on his back over the futon, head resting in Gon’s lap that evening. 

“Let me guess, your birthday is somewhere between April and May, right?” 

“Eh? How did you know?” Gon stopped exploring Hisoka’s cheeks to pay more attention to his words. 

Hisoka chuckled and reached up to stroke the bridge of Gon’s nose with the back of his index finger. 

“How could I not? You’re such a little Taurus… enduring, tactile, and dangerously stubborn.”

“Oh, you mean like the star signs?” Gon had heard of them, but he didn’t know much about them. That did sound like him. 

“MmHmm,” Hisoka pulled his hand back to place it on his chest as a way to gesture to himself. “I’m a Gemini. Flexible, open-minded, and hungry for variety.”

Gon nodded. Hisoka sure seemed to know a lot about this stuff. Maybe he did fortune telling for money too.

“Taurus is a fixed sign but Gemini is mutable. Our signs have much to learn for one another if we can get along…” Hisoka moved his hand to grasp Gon’s outer thigh, right beside his cheek, and squeezed. 

“I think we get along.” Gon pulled at Hisoka’s naked cheeks for retribution. 

Hisoka laughed and squeezed Gon’s thigh hard enough to bruise him for the first time. Then he rolled over and burrowed his face into Gon’s lap. 

Now, Gon listens to Killua’s laugh. It’s higher and lighter than Hisoka, carrying with the breeze rather than the way Hisoka’s is weighed down like a humid summer evening. The way Killua talks is lighter too. His voice is clear and bright, unlike Hisoka’s drawl. Unlike how Hisoka says Gon’s name, Killua-

“Killua, say my name.”

“What? Why?”

“Just do it.”

“Okay… Gon.”

“Killua.”

Killua looks over at Gon, face between exasperation and a laugh. Before Killua can laugh at him and call him stupid or weird, before Gon can even have a single thought at all, he surges forward to kiss Killua. 

Maybe it was the way Killua said his name, or because Killua spent the night being his best friend, or maybe there was something in their shared gazes. He doesn’t know why he’s doing it. When Killua asks him, which he surely will, Gon won’t have an answer. There isn’t anything about this particular moment that makes Gon think it’s the right time to kiss Killua. It’s as sudden to Gon, as if by looking over at him, Killua had yanked Gon forward. 

Killua’s lips are fuller than Hisoka’s but chapped like Gon’s own. His gasp is sweet and though his shoulders are tense from shock the kiss is soft. 

It’s nothing like kissing Hisoka or Ms. Yukako. Kissing in general feels pretty nice so Gon has always liked it, but he’s never craved it. Kissing Killua is like being lit up with electricity - supercharging Gon’s heart to an impossible rate. He feels like he’s glowing with warmth at the rush of energy between them. 

A firework bursts in the sky over the nearly forgotten festival. Some of its splendor peeks through the trees, illuminating their skin in a variety of colors. 

Gon doesn’t know why he did it, but when the kiss finally breaks, all that Gon knows is that the tremble of Killua’s lips makes him want to kiss again. 

Gon reaches out to grab Killua by the shoulder and pull him across the few centimeters between them…

Only for him to be stopped by Killua’s palm against his chest. 

“Gon- what- wh… what!” Killua sputters, more red and indignant than Gon’s ever seen him. 

“I don’t know. I want to. Don’t you want to?” Gon answers before Killua can piece together his question. He lays his hand over Killua’s cool one, pressed against his racing heart. 

“I…” Killua glances at Gon’s lips fast but not fast enough to go unnoticed. Then his eyes dart down to the left, pretending they didn’t look. “I don’t even… we’re hardly even friends yet.”

“Huh? This again?!” Gon is the one sent sputtering this time. “Of course, we’re friends! We’re really good friends, and I think you’re super cool and that it’s really cute how you hold that bunny for your sister.” 

Gon gestures to the cradled stuffed doll before continuing, having only taken a short breath. He leans in, pushing against Killua’s hand to get closer to his face. It’s rounder than Hisoka’s but his cheekbones are also high - like a fluffy kitten. Not like Hisoka’s narrow, foxish face. 

“You’re really good at lots of stuff and you share your food with me, and I think we’re super compatible-!”

“Stop!” Killua cuts Gon off, voice cracking and it’s  _ cute _ . “Okay, yes, we’re fr-friends but I still think… I mean, aren’t you supposed to date… before kissing?”

“Oh,” Gon eases back to consider this. He’s kissed plenty of times without dates. But dates are good. “I don’t think anyone has to date before they kiss, but I’d love to go on a date with you!”

He supposes that the festival doesn’t count as a date because it was unexpected for both of them. And neither of them asked the other. 

“Go on a date with me.” Gon says. “Right now. I want to have a date now.”

“Now?!” Killua looks around as if trying to find where they could have a date in the middle of the night. 

Gon already knows. Gon is great at dates. 

“Yeah, do you like camping?”

Gon takes Killua’s free hand in both of his. 

“Camping now? It’s nearly winter and…”

“Killua. Let’s have a camping date.” Gon presses on straight through Killua’s embarrassment. “I camp all the time. I just have to get my backpack, you can come with me, and we’ll drop our prizes off at my place for safekeeping.”

Killua’s mouth trembles once more, tempting Gon for another kiss. Though embarrassed, Killua is unable to avoid Gon’s gaze any longer. His eyes meet Gon, blue and shimmering, and he hesitates only a moment longer before nodding. 

“... Okay.”

Warmth fills Gon despite the cold night because he’s got a date. A date with Killua, who agreed because their friends and he trusts Gon. It’s their compatibility. It must be in the stars from the universe or something. 

“Yes!”

Gon jumps up to stand on the rocks. 

“Follow me, I’ll race you!” He pumps his fists. 

Killua seems to shake off the daze though a bit of pink still stains the apples of his cheeks. 

“Fine, then there'll be no way you can deny I have more wins than you.”

Just as simple as pulling Killua to a game of ring toss, he leads Killua off to share the rest of this impossible, wonderful first meeting. 

They’re racing and Gon thinks that Killua must have run on this stone wall before because even holding their prizes, the two of them keep pace on the uneven stone the whole way to the distant parking lot where Hisoka’s van is. Gon isn’t worried about Hisoka. Hisoka knows how great at camping Gon is and he lets Gon do anything he wants anyway. Hisoka will be fine by himself tonight. 

The cold air stings Gon’s lungs as they run as fast as they can. The constant threat of losing balance on the uneven footing in the dark is exhilarating. They’re so close the whole way, nearly knocking one another off the wall several times. They reach the parking lot and Gon pushes off the wall, jumping as far ahead as he can. 

“No fair, you didn’t say!” Killua shouts after him, launching from the wall only a split second later and jumping farther. 

“I win!” Gon calls into the night, slowing to a jog. 

“No way!” Killua jogs with him, “I got to that part of the wall way before you.”

“Did not,” Gon sticks his tongue out at Killua, his heart incapable of slowing down. 

“Did too.” Killua sticks out his tongue right back. 

Gon slows to a walk as they approach the back of the van and only then does Killua look up to see what Gon is walking towards. He pauses mid-step, then takes a step back. Gon, feeling the sudden tension crackling through the atmosphere, stops just before he gets to the doors and looks back to see Killua bristled in a new, horrible way with wide eyes. 

Before Gon can ask, the van’s doors open to reveal Hisoka crouched in the back of the van, still made up and grinning wide. 

“Well… isn’t this a surprise…” Hisoka’s heavy voice drawls. 

“You-! Gon! Get away from that freak!”

Killua lunges forward, hand grasping Gon’s wrist just as Hisoka’s hand lands on his shoulder. Killua, clearly panicked, wrenches Gon away from Hisoka. 

Gon is shocked by the reaction. Hisoka seems fine, amused maybe? That’s normal for him. Hisoka said he was friends with Killua’s older brother and… and he didn’t say anything about his relationship with Killua. 

“Killua, it’s okay,” Gon stumbles back to Killua’s side but digs in his heels when Killua tries to run with him. There must be some sort of misunderstanding. “This is Hisoka, he’s nice, I live with him.”

“You live with-!” Killua’s wide eyes leave Hisoka and land on Gon, like a frightened animal spotting another predator. Gon’s stomach turns. 

“You live with  _ him? _ You  _ lead me to him?” _ Killua’s voice cracks but it’s not cute now. The sound of it stops Gon’s heart and the glow inside him fizzles out. 

Killua’s hand leaps away from Gon’s wrist, quick as a startled cat. His eyes flit between Gon and Hisoka once again and Gon can’t know what expression Hisoka is making without taking his eyes off Killua. He  _ can’t  _ take his eyes off Killua. 

“No, I- Well, I guess, but you have to listen to me. You don’t need to freak out. Hisoka is- ” 

Killua won’t listen to him. He turns and sprints away, faster than their playful race.

Gon, so determined to reel in a friend for himself, hadn’t even considered the possibility of being the bait on Hisoka’s lure. 


	5. Chapter 5

Every part of Gon has gone cold. Even his recently kissed lips feel like ice when he finally closes his gaping mouth. 

Killua is running. Killua is running  _ away.  _

Behind Gon, Hisoka whistles. 

“Wow. So it seems you’ve met Killua ahead of schedule. After all this time, you still manage to surprise me...” Hisoka’s amused tone sounds even more detached with how far away it is from Gon’s focal point.

“Killua’s running away!” Gon blurts out. 

“Yes, he’s quite good at that.”

His feet tap in place a few times, needing something to do while his mind is whirling too fast to grasp onto anything solid. Then he turns on his heels and throws himself straight past Hisoka into the back of the van, dropping his prizes on the way. 

Hisoka makes a vaguely surprised sound and Gon can feel that he’s being watched as he quickly attaches the light bedroll to the camping backpack then shoves his arms through the straps.

“Going after him? Might be a bad idea. Cats are known to lash out when cornered.” Hisoka says while sitting. Just.  _ Sitting there _ while Killua gets away!

As soon as Gon has on the backpack, he’s poised to spring out of the van, hard-set with determination to catch Killua. Just before he jumps, he feels a light tug on the side of the backpack. 

He whips around to Hisoka who has a hand outstretched towards him and shoves him away.

“No!  _ You _ made Killua run away! I’m mad at you!” Gon snaps.

Hisoka’s fingers curl inward slightly and his eyebrows raise, surprise showing in the creases of his makeup and complete silence.

But Gon won’t waste any more time. He shoves past Hisoka and flings himself out of the back of the van to chase down Killua. 

His feet slam into the pavement and he runs like his life depends on it towards Killua and away from Hisoka. 

His arms and legs pump in unison as he runs almost wildly into the trees. Though panicked, he listens past the heartbeat screaming in his ears for the sound of Killua. The distant crunch of fallen leaves means Gon does have something to follow although Killua had such a big head-start. 

They are going towards the base of the mountain into the thicker brush and Gon is afraid Killua might be running home. Based on what Killua said about his mom, Killua snuck out tonight, and if he snuck out he could probably sneak back, and if Gon followed he’d probably be the one getting caught. Then Killua’s family would keep him out forever and he’d never see Killua again!

Gon pushes some branches out of the way and runs straight through a spiderweb that he mostly ignores. It’s then that he notices he can’t hear Killua’s footsteps anymore so Gon stops too. 

He looks around the forest, practically black with the town reduced to distant mumbles. There aren’t any flashes of vibrant white but there isn’t any sign of a nearby road Killua could be traveling more quietly on either. 

Gon remembers the road map he spent hours staring at. Kukoroo Mountain has one town at the base of it where they just were. Through that town is a single road that goes up into the mountain. All other sides of the mountain are densely wooded. 

_ It’s rumored to be haunted.  _ Hisoka had said.  _ Though I suspect that has more to do with the Zoldyck’s business being run by particularly hostile Scooby-Doo villains than any spirits.  _

Killua must still be in the forest somewhere since he couldn’t have left it in such a short amount of time. He must’ve stopped running, having noticed how loud an autumn forest floor can be, and hid instead. 

Gon’s hands ball into fists that he presses into his eyes as his frustration builds. How is he supposed to find Killua like this? His teeth clench to the point of aching as he curls in on himself. He takes a slow, shuddering breath through them to calm down before righting himself. 

He has to stay focused. The reality is, if Killua doesn’t want to be found, Gon probably won’t be able to find him. It’s dark, Gon is in an unfamiliar forest, and Killua is still probably ahead of him by quite a bit. Which is why Gon needs to  _ focus _ or he’s not getting Killua back. 

He proceeds forward at a walking pace through his legs ache with the need to keep running through the panic that simmers just under his skin. 

“Killua!” He calls into the night. “Killua, it’s just me! I’m sorry Hisoka scared you!”

Silence is his only answer but Gon won’t give up. 

“I meant what I said about camping with just the two of us.” He continues. “I wasn’t trying to bring you to Hisoka, I swear!” 

Gon climbs onto a rotting log to look around but still, no luck. He puts his hands on his hips, mouth twisting into a sharp frown. 

“I’m not leaving until you talk to me! If you try to sneak off I’ll hear you so come on, it’s cold!”

Gon hops off the log and continues forward. “I really, really mean it, Killua. I brought my camping bag so I’m staying out here all night.”

“Huh?! You’re crazy! Go away!” 

Killua’s uneven shout carries from ahead of Gon, vaguely to the left and deeper into the forest. Gon’s head snaps towards the noise and he rushes in that direction but he still can’t catch sight of Killua.

“No, I’m not, you’re my friend!” Gon is suddenly hot with renewed hope. As long as Killua responds, they can fix this. 

“No, you’re not!” Killua calls, remaining stubborn, but not as stubborn as Gon. 

“I am and I’ll prove it!” Gon adjusts his angle, a little more to the left, further from town.

“How?” Killua demands, much closer than before, but Gon still can’t see him. 

He looks around and when he considers where the voice was coming from, he looks up. His eyes narrow as he thinks he sees a speck of white in the nearly barren treetops. 

Gon walks towards the tree and looks directly up to see Killua perched in the branches. 

“We’re gonna talk it out. I’ll tell you anything you want to know and you know I won’t lie.”

Killua scowls down at him from where he’s wedged himself between two thick branches, stuffed bunny ears poking out of the top of his zipped coat and arms crossed. 

“You could.” He huffs. 

“I won’t,” Gon promises, extending his pinky up into the air. He’s nowhere near being able to hook it with Killua’s but it’s the gesture that matters. 

Killua frowns even harder, face screwing up, then he lets it go with a sigh. “Fine, I’ll listen, but then you have to leave me alone if I tell you to.”

Gon doesn’t like the sound of that. If Killua doesn’t like the truth, then he’ll make Gon leave. But… Gon can’t think of another option. He’ll just have to make Killua okay with the truth. 

“Okay, but you come down so we can pinky-swear on it.” He bargains with the cat up the tree. 

Killua hesitates and looks around, checking - probably quadruple checking - that Hisoka isn’t nearby. Then he uncrosses his arms and climbs down the tree. 

They lock pinkies, both cold from being outside for hours, and swear. Killua swears to hear Gon out and give him another chance and Gon swears to be honest and listen to Killua. Killua’s eyebrows shoot up into his bangs when Gon habitually seals their swear with a thumb-kiss. 

“Let’s set up a camp,” Gon says once they let go of each other. “It’s cold so we might as well warm up to talk.”

“... fine.” Killua agrees. 

Gon sets the portable camp lantern down on a flat spot beneath the thick tree for a bit of light. Together they push around the fallen leaves to make a nest of sorts and unpack essentials from the bag. Even so soon after their first fight, they work together naturally. 

_ Compatible.  _

Gon unhooks the bedroll to flatten it out while Killua unfolds the tarp to cover them. Then Killua goes for the water bottle that’s in the side-pouch of the backpack. As he pulls out the bottle a crinkly lump falls out with it. 

“What’s this?” Killua picks up the object, turning the square, plastic packet over in his hands.

Before traveling with Hisoka, Gon wouldn’t have known what it was either. Now he can recognize it right away. 

“Make-up wipes.” Gon takes them from Killua, suddenly aware of how heavy his face feels. The tiger facepaint…

Realization comes over Gon as he pieces together a mystery he didn’t even know he needed to solve. The light tugs on the side of his bag from Hisoka just as Gon was going to chase Killua down… Hisoka wasn’t pulling anywhere near hard enough to be trying to stop him. Hisoka was slipping  _ this _ into his backpack. Hisoka was… being nice and thoughtful. 

“Ah, geez…” Gon smacks himself in the forehead then opens the packet to take out a wipe. 

“What?” Killua asks, tossing his demon mask to the side before getting under the bedroll with the rabbit he still clings to. 

“I feel bad now.” Gon explains, scrubbing at the facepaint and glitter. “I yelled at Hisoka but he was just trying to help.”

Killua crosses his arms over the stuffed animal and looks at Gon critically. “You’re  _ really  _ gonna have to explain that to me.”

“I was mad at him for scaring you, and I thought he might try to stop me from going after you…” Gon pulls out another wipe because even though he can’t see himself, he’s sure there’s still paint on him. 

“... I wasn’t  _ that _ scared,” Killua grumbles, hunching into his forearms. “How did you start living with  _ him _ anyway?”

Gon picks at the eyeliner on his forehead with a stubby nail. “He came to do some magic in my hometown and when I found out he lived on the road I wanted to go with him.” 

“You-!” Killua sputters. “Seriously? You just met some creepy clown and decided to get in his van?”

“... I guess,” Gon chuckles. It does sound weird when Killua says it like that. 

“Ugh, I knew it. You’re completely insane…” Killua tugs on his bangs and buries his face in the rabbit. Then he looks up to scrutinize Gon from beneath his pale lashes. 

“I don’t think I am… well, either way, you believe me.” Gon gives Killua a lopsided smile. 

Killua sighs and straightens up, turning his shoulders to face Gon. He snatches the pack of makeup wipes from Gon and pulls out a fresh one to wipe at the stubborn glitter and liner. 

“Yeah, yeah. I believe you. I believe you’re out of your mind. What about your mom Mito, huh? You said you liked her but I didn’t see her in that creeper van.”

“I do! She’s a great mom but I wanted to go on an adventure. I’ve only been in one place my whole life! That’s twelve whole years - nearly thirteen.” Kind of nearly. “Don’t you know what that’s like? Don’t you want to go on adventures too?”

He closes his eyes when Killua scrubs harder, left only with the awareness of the rough care and the heat of Killua’s breath on his cheeks. 

“Yeah, I do. But an adventure with  _ Hisoka?  _ Doesn’t he… y’know…” Killua draws away when he deems Gon’s face clean enough. Gon opens his eyes to see Killua’s eyes drop towards the ground, along with his voice. “Doesn’t he  _ touch _ you?”

Even Gon isn’t dense enough to miss the meaning. 

“Did Hisoka touch you?” Gon asks directly. 

“You promised you’d answer my questions!” Killua snaps. 

“Right, I did,” Gon scratches his hair, still stiff from the gel. He’s torn between feeling guilty for nearly breaking his promise and wanting to know what happened between Hisoka and Killua. 

Killua and Hisoka must have more of a history than Hisoka let on. To be fair, Hisoka didn’t mention much of any history between them and Gon didn’t ask. He asked about what Killua was like - the temperament of a stray kitten, according to Hisoka - but he didn’t ask about anything specific. Since Gon didn’t ask, Hisoka must’ve only revealed part of the truth, never outright lying. Just like Gon did to Killua…

Now he feels  _ really _ bad!

For Killua to even ask that Gon is pretty sure Hisoka must’ve done something or said something or looked at Killua in some sort of way. The sort of  _ something _ Ms. Yukako would tell Gon to keep a secret. 

“He does touch me, sometimes.” Gon admits since his promise to Killua is much more important than any sort of adult secret. 

Killua grimaces. “And that doesn’t freak you out? Doesn’t even bother you?”

“Not really,” Gon, having caught his breath and calmed down, takes a drink from the water bottle then offers it to Killua. 

Killua looks at the bottle for a moment before taking it. 

“I mean, sometimes it’s fun, but it’s usually just something to do. I don’t know.” Gon continues. “I guess it just doesn’t mean a lot to me? It’s just… an adult thing.”

Killua drinks from the bottle and his freshly wet lips puff in a pouty frown. 

“I guess that sort of thing  _ wouldn’t  _ mean a lot to you if you do it with Hisoka.”

The meaning in Killua’s scathing tone triggers Gon to grab Killua’s cheeks so fast there’s a dull smack. 

“Hey!” 

Gon squeezes Killua’s cheeks in his hands and looks at him seriously. Urgently. As serious and urgent as anything could ever be. 

“It doesn’t mean anything when it’s Hisoka - but it means a lot with you! I’ve never had a kiss like you before!”

This time, Gon can feel Killua’s face grow hot in his palms. 

“You- you don’t have to try and make me  _ feel _ better.” Killua’s voice cracks again and it’s blissfully cute once more. “I still have questions.”

Slowly, Gon’s hands soften to hold Killua’s cheeks rather than squishing them. It’s nice to hold Killua softly… he wonders if Hisoka would like to be held softly like this. He knows about  _ romancing _ from grade school but with Hisoka romancing never seemed important. Gon’s hands linger on Killua’s face until they’re brushed away. 

“Okay, so since you don’t think Hisoka’s bad-”

“I didn’t say that.”

Killua looks pained. 

“Whatever, you think it’s okay to be around him, so what does he do when you tell him not to touch you?”

The question sticks in Gon’s mind. 

“Ah, I don’t know. I never tried telling him not to. Well, I’ve told him to wait and he has...” Gon remembers how their first touches went. 

The memory doesn’t bother him. Even if Hisoka was creepy, Hisoka would stop for their game… though he was kind of hard to push off when he got clingy and excited. Even pulling on Hisoka’s hair until some came out wasn’t enough for Hisoka to loosen his grip. Still, the fact remains, Gon hasn’t told Hisoka not to touch him indefinitely. 

Killua wipes his hand down his own face in exasperation. Gon would rather not wonder if he’s wiping the sensation of Gon’s touch away too. 

“Try it. Try telling him ‘no’ and you’ll figure out whether or not it’s okay to be around him.” Killua instructs pointer finger up like a teacher. “And you gotta be firm and direct so there’s no weaseling room. Don’t give him any excuses for doing  _ anything _ to you after that.”

Firm and direct. Gon can be firm and direct, he just doesn’t understand why he would tell Hisoka ‘no’ if he doesn’t really mean it. Killua says it like it’s important though and he wants to understand Killua better. 

“Did you tell him not to touch you?” Gon tries prying again. 

Killua hesitates this time before waving the question off with his hand. 

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It does!” There’s no way Gon could believe Killua doesn’t care when he’s speaking to Gon so seriously about it. 

He intercepts Killua’s casual wave by lacing their fingers together. If Hisoka did something bad to Killua…

Gon tries to picture it. In the back of Hisoka’s van, just like Gon was. Hisoka clinging to Killua too tight and Killua pushing back, yanking Hisoka’s hair, telling Hisoka to stop,  _ stop _ but Hisoka  _ doesn’t _ … And Killua… and Killua is scared now because of it….

Gon holds Killua’s hand tightly, brows furrowed. He doesn’t like the thought of that. It seems wrong in a deep way. It’s visceral, completely unlike the way Gon feels about Hisoka touching him. He couldn’t put to words why it’s worse - only that it is. 

“Of course, it matters.” Gon’s somber, looking directly at Killua even though Killua won’t meet his eyes. “If he did something to  _ you-” _

“It matters when he does things to you too, idiot!” Killua snaps, squeezing Gon’s hand back. “Don’t you get it?”

“I guess I am an idiot!” Gon fires back. 

Maybe it is bad, what Hisoka does to him.  _ Maybe _ . But it’s not the same as something bad being done to Killua - not even close. 

They glare at each other and it’s clear to both of them they won’t be seeing eye-to-eye here. They didn’t see eye-to-eye on whether or not Senbonbiki counts as a real game either but Gon knew they’d be best friends anyway. 

Killua huffs and lays down on his side in the bedroll, taking Gon’s hand with him, and Gon knows they agree on that much. 

Gon lays down behind Killua, his hand trapped against Killua’s chest in a grip that’s way too tight. He moves in close, used to sleeping with someone. Killua doesn’t run away now although his back is tense against Gon’s chest. Somehow it seems the truth was good enough for Killua - as Gon usually finds that it is in the end. Mito taught him that honesty is for the best and she was right. 

Gon thinks of his thanks to her and the stars that probably say how compatible he is with Killua. 

“I still think going on an adventure with Hisoka is dumb,” Killua says as Gon noses into the back of Killua’s messy hair. It tickles his lips and Gon closes his eyes to focus on Killua’s scent. His sweat from running so much, the cold autumn forest that clings to it, a clean-smelling shampoo,  _ Killua _ himself. “I wanna run away from home too, but not with Hisoka.”

“Then run away from home with me.”

Killua’s body isn’t as hot as Hisoka’s, but it is warm. It keeps away the chill and when Gon has the time to make good shelters even in the snow he is certain he’ll be comfortable as long as he has Killua. 

Even so, Gon can practically hear Killua rolling his eyes at the suggestion. 

“With you? You’re with Hisoka, so then I’d be with Hisoka anyway.”

“I don’t have to be with Hisoka.” Gon points out. “I can leave him and then it’ll just be you and me.”

There’s a pause and Gon feels Killua shift under his arm. White hair brushes across his face and Gon opens his eyes to see Killua looking at him over his shoulder. A part of Gon is almost surprised to see that his eyes don’t reflect the lantern light in the dark like a cat. 

“... are you serious?” Killua’s voice is quiet. 

“Of course I’m serious,” Gon is bewildered that Killua even asked. “I’ve already run away, right?” 

“Not that. I mean the leaving Hisoka part.”

Their faces are so close that it’s impossible for him not to look at Killua’s lips. 

“Yeah, Hisoka usually travels alone anyway. He’ll be fine.” As for Gon, he already left his Aunt Mito for an adventure, who he’s been with way longer than Hisoka. He could leave Hisoka for another adventure. “You’re my best friend. I want to be with you.”

“Holy shit, you’re serious,” Killua whispers. 

Even though Gon has been watching the tiniest movements of Killua’s lips, this time he’s the one receiving a surprise kiss. 

His heart flutters just like it did the first time. Gon is eager to kiss back, wanting Killua to know just how serious he is about him. Too soon, Killua breaks the kiss with a gasp, cheeks hot and inviting as a campfire. 

“Is that a yes?” Gon needs to know. 

“It’s- I- No.”

_ “No?” _

“Not because I don’t believe you.” Killua clarifies immediately. “I do and that’s- that’s crazy. I believe you, but no.”

“Why not?”

Killua rolls onto his back, throwing his forearm over his eyes to hide from Gon’s stare. 

“It’s… Okay, I’ll pretend for a second that isn’t the worst idea ever. I’m going to imagine that idea isn’t stupid and crazy and that there’s isn’t a billion things wrong with it.”

Gon didn’t think the idea was  _ that _ bad…

“Even if I could. Even if I could run away with you and my family wouldn’t catch us and we didn’t end up dead under a bridge somewhere in two weeks,”

Is running away really that risky?

“I still wouldn’t.” Killua finally drops his arm and his face is back to its normal parlor, having sobered himself. “I wouldn’t because I can’t leave my little sister behind and before you ask I’m not bringing her on a crazy adventure.”

“Ah…” Gon supposes that it would be more difficult to have an adventure like that. Still, he’s disappointed. “Why can’t she be home without you?”

“Someone’s gotta defend her,” Killua says to the treetops, gesturing his frustration with his hands. “My parents and my brothers - that don’t treat her like she’s my sister!” 

“Huh?” Gon stalls in confusion. He wasn’t expecting Killua to say that at all. His brain works hard to try and divide up the tasks of figuring out what that means and amending his mental picture of Killua’s life a second time to account for multiple brothers. “But she is, isn’t she?”

“Yes, obviously.” Killua lifts the rabbit over his head to look at it hard. “She’s the best sister in the world.”

“I don’t think I get it.” Gon admits, thinking hard about the possible reasons they could deny Killua his own sister. Perhaps they’re not related by blood, but if she lives with them then they must have adopted her on purpose so that doesn’t make sense either because she’d still be Killua’s sister. “But if you say she’s your sister then I’m sure she is.”

“She’s my  _ sister _ ,” Killua confirms resolutely, hugging the rabbit again. “She needs someone at home who loves her just the way she is and that’s me.”

Gon, selfishly, still wants Killua. But how could he possibly say that in the face of Killua’s loving conviction?

“... You’re a great big brother.” Gon manages to say with a tighter smile than usual. 

He feels cold again and reaches out for Killua’s hand. Killua doesn’t pull away and looks to Gon once more. 

This time, when they kiss, they’re drawn into each other. 

Gon shifts, half on top of Killua to kiss him harder. “When things are okay for your sister, we’ll go on an adventure then.”

“How will you know?” Killua finally isn’t arguing against Gon’s word, only asking logistically as his hands run up Gon’s forearms to hook around his neck, the stuffed rabbit pressed between their chests. 

“I’ll get a phone. You give me your number and I’ll let you know the second I get one.” Killua pulls Gon in for another kiss, their lips brushing together before finding the proper fit again. “We’ll keep in touch.”

“Okay,” Killua’s finally nodding and agreeing between kisses. “Okay, we’ll text and call, I need to make sure you don’t need rescuing from Hisoka anyway.”

Gon laughs, nose bumping Killua’s with the motion. “Okay, sounds fair.”

Gon greedily buries his hands in Killua’s wild and fluffy hair to seal this new promise with a kiss. Their legs fit together and the headrush Gon gets from Killua’s slender thigh between his legs is like nothing he’s ever felt before. His lips part naturally, wanting to taste Killua and breathe him in even more. Killua’s soft, sweet voice keeps Gon warm to the tips of his ears that night. Despite knowing that they only have a few more hours left together, the weight is lifted from Gon’s chest because he’s certain that in the end, he’ll be with Killua. Until then, he’ll enjoy the journey with Hisoka even more. 


	6. Chapter 6

Earlier that evening, just after he left Gon to terrorize the fall festival, Hisoka returned to the van to call Illumi privately. 

Illumi doesn’t answer the first time Hisoka tries calling but he does answer the second time on the fourth ring so that counts for something. 

“What?” Illumi’s cold voice is In Hisoka’s ear, lovely as ever. 

If Hisoka ever were to describe Illumi’s voice he would say that it is just as he looks. Detached, graceful, and only adjacent to human. 

“Darling big brother,” Hisoka purrs, combing his hand through his hair to preen for no one. 

By now, he expects that his little boy has eaten at least enough for an adult, but he’s growing.  _ Ah, puberty.  _ Hisoka feels like putty just thinking of it. As much as Hisoka wishes he was there to watch Gon stuff his face and maybe even help him and kiss fresh cream off his full cheeks… he needed to step away. He needed to call Illumi in private to work on fulfilling his promise. 

He sits cross-legged, leaning against the back of the driver’s seat. He hasn’t even removed his makeup, wanting to stay firmly in-character. 

“It’s been too long,” Hisoka continues. “I’m in town right now performing for the festival. How about a date? We could share a sweet and romantic cotton candy beneath the fireworks this evening.”

“Why?” Illumi is direct as ever, almost entirely immune to Hisoka’s playful words. Unless they’re about Killua. 

“You wouldn’t believe I’m lonely?” Hisoka fake pouts. 

“No, I believe that. But you have other motives.”

Hisoka pouts for real. 

“Fine. You got me.” Hisoka says with a put-upon sigh. “I really came to brag - I recently picked up a baby brother of my own.”

“You’re an orphan.”

Hisoka stretches out to lay on his stomach as though he’s at a slumber party. Illumi really does have an answer for everything. 

“So? I could have a brother. But you got me, we’re not related. Anything short of blood-related incest just isn’t good enough for you, is it?”

“You have a relationship with this boy.” Illumi fills in, not biting at the incest comment. Or maybe he doesn’t even realize it’s a dig at him. 

“That’s right,” Hisoka twirls his finger in the air and lets his feet sway. “He’s so  _ adorable.  _ And the same age as dear Killua.”

“So?” 

“ _ So? _ ” Hisoka mocks. “So, aren’t you happy for me? I have a little boy all my own so you can keep yours.”

“I would have always kept Killua.” Illumi’s voice finally shows emotion - a scowl. 

“Of course,” Hisoka says humbly, “You’re the expert on keeping little boys, which is what I’d love to discuss with you. How about coming down for a drink?”

Illumi is silent, thinking. He never thinks with affected sounds as Hisoka does. If Hisoka didn’t know Illumi as well as he does, he would wonder if his friend is still on the other end at all. Fortunately, Hisoka does know Illumi well enough to assume that Illumi is at least interested if nothing else. Either Illumi is speculating on whatever atrocities Hisoka must’ve committed to get himself a little boy, or he’s thinking about what cocktail might suit today’s flavor of repression. 

“Alright, I’m not too busy, so I’ll meet you in Liquor Spring.” 

“It’s a date,” Hisoka says. 

Within the next half hour, the two of them are seated in the local bar towards the back, looking out to the window in the direction of the festival. Through the shops and drunken adults, Hisoka can see the warm glow of the festival seeping through where his little boy roams free. Hisoka imagines that he’s made friends with the other children from the magic show. It’s a sweet mental image only made sweeter with the knowledge that in an hour or so Gon will be running straight into Hisoka’s arms - laughing and talking sugar-fast about all the fun he’s had. Hisoka sighs happily into the rim of his glass containing a bright orange drink just as the stool next to him is being dragged back over the wooden floor. 

Illumi sits beside him holding a blue drink with a lemon wedge and tucks a loose strand of black satin behind his ear. He sets his drink down and crosses his legs, left over right, getting comfortable. 

“Ah, good evening, beautiful!” Hisoka swivels in his seat to face Illumi, hands and smile inviting. “Always a pleasure to see you.”

Illumi sips his drink without responding, waiting for Hisoka to make it worth his free evening. 

“I met the most adorable darling in a little fishing town.” Hisoka begins although his imagination is already whirling with ideas for how to keep Illumi’s interest. The truth, no matter how strange it actually is, won’t be enough for Illumi because it’s not about Killua. “He was so willing, it was almost unbelievable.” 

Hisoka traces his finger over the rim of his glass, watching Illumi’s fingers through his lashes. Illumi’s fingers are his only tell, a secret weakness Hisoka keeps close to his chest. Illumi’s black eyes, his complexion, the muscles in his face, all of them are as expressive as a doll. However, Illumi’s fingers move. It’s possible to find hints in their graceful motions and reactionary twitches. Knowing one of the things that Illumi craves, Killua’s  _ willingness _ is a helpful decoder.

“- so of course, I had to give him everything he was willing for.” That is a little misleading since he hasn’t actually fucked the boy. “And now he’s with me. He’s a fascinating character with a very special worldview.” 

“Tell me about that,” Illumi says.

There it is. Thanks to Gon, Hisoka has something that Illumi wants. 

Hisoka crosses his legs to mirror Illumi and leans back in his seat.

“I would be happy to,” Hisoka swirls his glass then takes a lazy sip. The heat of the drink’s spice spreads over his tongue. “But I have a better idea.”

Illumi stares at Hisoka, unblinking as ever, but the nail of his pointer finger drags down the table as it curls into his palm.

“Here’s the plan. We get married. You be the mommy, I’ll be the daddy, and Gon and Killua can be our sweet children.”

Illumi slaps Hisoka before he’s even realized Illumi set down his drink. Hisoka’s face is spun into the bar as the slap rings out over the music. A few glances over but since Hisoka is still, taking no action to retaliate, the other patrons gradually turn away.

“Ouch, what a rough rejection to my proposal. Is this how you treat all your suitors?” Hisoka rubs his stinging cheek as heat twists in his stomach. He rights himself to face Illumi again. “I thought you’d like the idea - I even maximized the incest for you.”

“Be serious.” Illumi reaches for his drink again to pluck the lemon wedge off the rim. He puts the tart meat of the fruit between his teeth and takes a bite as if it were a refreshing apple slice.

“I was,” Hisoka pouts. “But fine, I get it, you’re not ready to settle down yet.”

So it seems that another year will go by without Hisoka being married to a rich, androgenous sadist and having foursomes with their cute, rowdy sons. Perhaps next year will be his lucky year. He’ll remain optimistic.

“My broader point is that one of Killua’s peers may be more successful at reaching him than you. That’s why he’s homeschooled, isn’t it? Wouldn’t want nasty little children giving him bad ideas…” 

Illumi munches on his lemon. His strange eating habits were one of the first things Hisoka was charmed by.

“But I have a boy Killua’s age who’s happy to be in my grasp and impossibly earnest. Killua’s guard will be lower around him, so let him fill Killua’s head with ideas for you.”

After swallowing the lemon juices, Illumi uses his nail to start picking the rine from the peel.

“How would I know they’d be the right ideas? It sounds like you just want to use this Gon boy to convince Killua that  _ you _ could make him happy, not me.”

That would be an excellent outcome but even Hisoka isn’t crazy enough to say that to Illumi’s face. 

“You can hear from Gon if that’s what you like,” Hisoka says although in truth he’s nervous about how an interaction between them would play out. Illumi would probably commit the heinous offense of being himself in front of Hisoka’s tiger cub. “But I wouldn't suggest speaking to him - trying to coach Gon would only backfire. He’s an honest boy. So honest that even if he were to listen to you there’s no way Killua wouldn’t notice the deception.”

The white rind is peeled off in a large chunk like a sheet of dead skin. Illumi takes the narrow end between his teeth and eats it like a rodent.

“Fine, I’ll go along with your plan. But if I don’t think Gon will be a good influence the deal’s off. So, how does this benefit you?” Illumi asks once he’s chewed his way through the rind.

“I want a favor from you. Gon and I have made it this far on our own but I want to ensure our ride off into the sunset. I don’t want anyone interrupting our happily ever after.”

“You should leave the country. Go overseas and you’ll be much harder to catch.”

Hisoka claps his hands together with a smile. Leave it to Illumi to always have the most efficient solution.

“Wonderful! My tiger cub would love an adventure like that. In that case, I’ll be needing some documents for him. Unfortunately, the best forger I know is a bit difficult for me to commission these days…”

Illumi nods in agreement and likely knows what Hisoka is fishing for. They both know who the best forger  _ anywhere _ is and even though they’re a previous associate of Hisoka’s, they are nearly impossible to find. Unless, of course, there’s big money involved and money doesn’t get much bigger than the Zoldyck’s.

In terms of whether or not Gon can help Illumi groom Killua… well, Hisoka doesn’t really care. Certainly, he’d be happy to have all of his dreams come true, but that would just be a bonus. The success of Gon and Killua’s relationship is expendable, Hisoka’s access to Gon is not.

Hisoka and Illumi part ways at the bar’s exit. Illumi with the promise to send Hisoka his tip on the Phantom Troop’s whereabouts and Hisoka with the promise of letting Illumi listen in on a private moment with Gon.

Soon after Hisoka returned to the van to settle in and wait for Gon, he heard his little boy running and laughing his way home, just as Hisoka imagined. What Hisoka hadn’t imagined was to hear Killua’s voice alongside him.

And so, they shared their unexpected first meeting.

Hisoka was on his best behavior. He didn’t say much and he didn’t pull Killua into the van against his will. He mostly watched, fascinated by the interaction between the two boys.

Ultimately, the meeting was a mess, and not even a hot one. Hisoka waited for an hour after his tiger ran off. He had considered following the boys but decided against it. It just didn’t seem realistic. Regardless, he was confident Gon would be fine for the night and they would reunite in the morning. 

He uses his bottle of makeup remover and an old cloth to remove his face-paint along with a shower in the community center. He doesn’t linger, wanting to get back to the van as fast as possible in case Gon returns. 

Now he lays awake on his back on his futon, staring at the ceiling of his van with the sunroof covered. It has been quite some time since he’s slept alone… and he didn’t miss it. Not when he’s gotten used to having a sweet bedmate. 

Hisoka turns his head to look at the odd creature Gon brought home from the festival. Hisoka can’t figure out if it’s supposed to be a bear or a raccoon but either way he hopes Gon won it for him. 

… Gon is mad at him. 

He said it so directly too. No passive-aggression or dancing around the subject… Truly, Hisoka’s little boy is a better communicator than many adults. 

Hisoka sighs and sits up to grab the chunky plushie. He pulls the cheap animal into his lap and then grabs one of Gon’s worn shirts to put on it. It’s such an ambiguous animal while being so cute - it reminds Hisoka of Gon in that sense. He presses the plushie down to grind it in his lap and thinks of his little boy. Gon’s round eyes and how his hands and feet are growing big faster than the rest of him like a puppy. Yet he’s still a precious child… normally the idea of defiling a cute little boy’s stuffed animal would get Hisoka hard right away. While he’d like to cut through the tension by getting off on this toy, he’s not in the mood. He gives up on the idea for now and stops forcing the helpless plushie to grind on him. Oh well, he’ll probably be more in the mood when Gon is holding the creature. 

Hisoka hugs the bear-thing and lays back down. He squishes it to his face to sniff Gon’s shirt. It smells of Hisoka’s perfume and Gon’s puberty… Hisoka rolls onto his side, unable to breathe with how tightly he’s holding the thing to his face. 

Admiration sparkled in Gon’s eyes earlier that night while he watched Hisoka perform. The reckless attention of his little boy - so fixated on Hisoka that he was willing to abandon a perfectly good home and reason itself. Gon is such a rare treasure. He’s Hisoka’s treasure. But this fixation on Killua…

It won’t be an issue. Gon needs Hisoka to enable his adventure and a few other obsessions are to be expected. It’s natural for Gon to be immature and want to explore himself. Hisoka can’t expect maturity from someone who  _ can’t  _ be mature yet. That reality is part of what drew Hisoka to Gon, to begin with. 

If Gon wants to run off on occasion to dry-hump some boys his own age that’s alright. It’s a normal part of growing up - so long as Gon comes back and continues to grow in Hisoka’s arms.

He lays on top of the stuffed animal, crushing it into the futon beneath him to get comfortable. Still, he only sleeps a bit, spending most of the night thinking of Gon huddled up in the woods like a wild animal. 

Hisoka is lazing in his futon while the sun rises when he hears someone tugging on the back doors. They’re stopped by the lock so the person outside switches to knocking three times. Based on the fact that the person outside simply assumed they could enter Hisoka’s van really narrows down the possibilities. Hisoka’s heart leaps in excitement and he sits up to open the door, plushie forgotten. 

On the other side is just the little person Hisoka was hoping for. His eyes were already lowered to meet little Gon’s. The boy’s hands are in white-knuckled fists by his sides, his hair is an absolute terror from the old gel with dead leaves still clinging to it and there are bits of flaking orange paint around his hairline. Gon is looking up at Hisoka, his eyes closed off from emoting as they normally are when he’s thinking deeply about something. Whatever it is, Hisoka will hear about it eventually. 

Hisoka reaches out for his wild boy whose skin is warmed by the sunrise but dry with the cold. Hisoka is hardly aware of his own expression, only that he’s breathing through barely parted lips. His right-hand lands on Gon’s cheek first and his fingers curl around to caress the developing jawline. He tilts Gon’s face up to the light and sees dark circles under his eyes and lips more chapped and puffy than usual. It’s the only lingering evidence Hisoka needs to have an idea of what his little tiger has been up to. 

“Good morning, cub,” Hisoka says tenderly. “Come on…”

He shifts forward on his knees to lift Gon into the back of the van by his armpits. Ah, Gon is growing fast already. Hisoka will enjoy being able to handle him like this while he can. 

Despite having lashed out at Hisoka last night, Gon curls into his chest, fitting neatly into the place the plushie had been. Hisoka pats Gon’s stiff hair and kisses his dirty forehead. Though he would like to push the clunky backpack off Gon, he resists. 

“Did you have a nice adventure?” He asks. 

“I think so,” Gon replies, cold fingers of his left hand into the front of Hisoka’s sleep shirt while his right remains a locked vault. “I want a phone.”

Hisoka laughs from surprise, not expecting to hear that from his little adventure boy. Not for another year, at least. 

“Let’s get you to a shower first.”

Hisoka tucks Gon’s face into his neck and pulls out his phone to check that the community center is open. Once he’s sure it is, he grabs his shower kit. 

“You can leave the camping supplies here,” he says. 

As if the backpack is freedom itself, Gon is reluctant to let it go but shrugs it off soon enough. Hisoka has Gon put on a hoodie to cover his hair so no onlookers will wonder about the state of his child. From there, Hisoka hardly notices the blocks they walk to get to the nearest public showers. After passing the entrance and getting into the barren locker room, Hisoka picks Gon up to sit him on the bench before kneeling in front of him and easing down his hood. Despite how uncharacteristically quiet Gon is, Hisoka is a little excited. He doesn’t normally get to stare openly at little boys changing in public locker rooms. Such a good setting… 

“Lift your arms now. Filthy puppies need baths whether they like it or not.”

Gon lifts his arms to allow Hisoka to pull off the hoodie and the dirty shirt beneath it. They’ll both need washing soon, but that’s a future problem. This wakes Gon up enough to stand and pull off his own pants, though Hisoka remains kneeling right in front of him so it’s a great view. His right hand, which has remained closed this whole time, is shoved deep into Gon’s pocket before the pants are pushed down, keeping whatever small item was inside it a secret for now. 

Hisoka glances to the door to double-check - nothing - then looks back to see Gon taking off his underwear. Despite the waning tension, Hisoka’s mouth waters at the sight like he’s heard a bell. He reaches out to stroke Gon’s hips as easily as ever. It’s comfortable to coax Gon closer to him and kiss the center of the boy’s chest. 

“I’m sorry, Hisoka,” Gon finally speaks. 

Hisoka hums in question and looks up, his chin resting over Gon’s heart. 

“I shouldn’t have snapped at you.”

Hisoka’s small smile grows and he rubs Gon’s back reassuringly. 

“It’s quite alright, I can appreciate passion when I see it.” Although he’d prefer that passion in other places. “But do remember that I am on  _ your _ side.”

Gon nods and his lips part to speak only for him to press them together in a poor effort to keep the emotion inside. His lips waver as tears spring up in his eyes then the dam of young masculinity bursts into an open cry. 

Gon’s hands are half-raised as he cries like he’s been told before to hide when he cries but he hasn’t been convinced of that yet. 

“It’s so frustrating!” Gon sobs and sniffs as his nose fills like his eyes. 

Hisoka has no idea what could have been so frustrating but he has enough emotional intelligence to understand there was probably more building up than him snapping at Hisoka and Killua running away. Whatever his stress was, combined with Hisoka’s support, has simply made him burst like a fizzy drink that’s been shaken and finally uncapped. Rather than trying to contain the flow, Hisoka is content to accept it and clean up the aftermath. 

“Things will be alright, even if they aren’t right now.” He assures Gon even if he doesn’t understand the problem. 

He pulls Gon into a hug and eases his head down to cry on Hisoka’s shoulder. There’s nothing visibly illegal for someone to witness should they come investigating, but Hisoka would prefer not to be interrupted while he’s taking care of his kid. 

Tears and snot soak Hisoka’s teal shirt as Gon cries out his feelings, naked in a public locker room. It’s not his sexiest moment but Hisoka can’t imagine Gon would ever stop being adorable to him. 

“I r-really like Killua,” Gon cries, fisting the back of Hisoka’s shirt. He’s surprisingly strong. “But I can’t do anything to make him come with me or help his sister.” 

Alluka. Hisoka has a decent understanding of the friction around that. 

“And I’m gonna leave with you and not Killua but Killua is really really pretty and cool-”

… Hisoka didn’t know that was in question. 

“And Mito probably thinks something really bad happened to me and I don’t know where to go now and I’m worried about you getting in trouble because I like you too - and - and!”

And Gon continues to cry over every little frustration he’s felt. However, Hisoka has stopped listening. He rubs Gon’s back, letting him cry and cry, turning over what Gon said. It sounded as though Gon wanted to leave to go on an adventure with Killua and  _ not _ Hisoka. Somewhere in his mind between traveling to Kukuroo Mountain and a fall festival romance he was choosing Killua over Hisoka - looking  _ forward _ to swapping them out. 

Hisoka picks Gon up into his arms so he can sit on the bench with Gon in his lap. He knew the way Gon left his aunt was abnormal but he didn’t mind it. How could he when it suited him so well? He does mind it when there’s the possibility that he’s in the same category as Gon’s aunt. 

After a kiss to Gon’s temple, the boy begins to quiet, having cried himself out. Hisoka wonders for a moment if Gon likes Killua more than him but then again it’s nearly impossible that he likes Hisoka more than Mito. Not for the first time, Hisoka considers the way Gon experiences attachment. Never before has understanding that seem so pressing. 

It’s easy to write off Gon’s infatuation with Killua as simple immaturity. One evening together and he wants to run off with the boy? Ridiculous. And yet… a familiar tale. Familiar, but not the same. Would Gon have cried if Hisoka didn’t allow him to run away? It seems unlikely. Killua still has something that Hisoka doesn’t think he can claim: Gon’s attraction.

Gon’s upturned nose rubs over Hisoka’s shoulder with a final sniffle before he straightens to wipe his eyes. 

“I think now is just the right moment to get clean, hm? Time to freshen up.”

Hisoka removes Gon from his lap only so he can strip himself. Gon slaps his own cheeks a few times to pull himself together then follows Hisoka into the showers. 

The old hair gel takes patience to remove. Hisoka soaks Gon’s hair in the warm water of the showers to soften it and has to shampoo it twice to get rid of the lingering slimy feeling. Gon stays close to Hisoka, leaning on his legs with eyes closed as Hisoka massages his scalp over and over. What matters most right now is that Gon has come back to Hisoka  _ this time.  _ Now that he knows how precarious that is, Hisoka won’t let it go to waste. 

He has no idea how he’s going to uphold his deal with Illumi now. There’s no chance Killua will tell his oppressive big brother what happened last night, but getting Gon and Killua to pretend they’re meeting for the first time in front of Illumi’s raptor eyes is a tall order. Not to mention Hisoka’s newfound reluctance to allow Killua and Gon to meet again so soon. He’ll have to get Illumi to give him the information on the Phantom Troupe some other way. Perhaps another favor will be enough. Or maybe Hisoka leaving the country and being an ocean away from pretty Killua will be enough of a favor on its own. 

“It’s my turn to pick our next location.” Hisoka begins, his hand over Gon’s brow to protect his eyes as he rinses out the second round of shampoo. “We can work on getting you a phone as we go, how does that sound?”

“Okay,” Gon agrees then asks: “Where are we going?”

Hisoka massages conditioner into Gon’s hair to revive it. 

“I’m not sure yet,” Hisoka admits. “But I will soon.”

He doesn’t plan on staying in this town much longer. Not where the scent of Killua lingers in Gon’s sensitive nose. Hisoka isn’t angry with Killua. Really, he’d still be happy for Gon and Killua to be together, he just won’t accept being left out. Not unless it was part of some neglect play… and Killua would probably be great at that. He still thinks Gon and Killua could do such a lovely little _good cop, bad cop_ routine with Hisoka’s dick. Or maybe it would be _bad cop, bad cop_ with how Gon has grown accustomed to being rough…

Hisoka can and will keep dreaming. 

Dreaming always gets Hisoka a little stiff and Gon can feel it. He glances up at Hisoka but neither of them does anything about it while Hisoka moves on to scrubbing Gon’s face until all traces of the festival are washed away. 

Hisoka finishes the job with a kiss on the very tip of Gon’s nose. 

“We’re going to make a stop at the laundromat and then it’s a hot breakfast for you.” He says. 

Providing Gon some structure so he doesn’t have to think so hard should help. While he does that, he’ll privately message Illumi to work out a new deal. Something about Gon having a sudden rebellious streak should be convincing enough… After all, Killua seems to be going through a rebellious phase of his own. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be continued

**Author's Note:**

> I will be adding to the tags as I go. Please let me know if there's anything missing you think I should add <3


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